Hi, um I'm a bit confused about myself!

I've been around in front a few times and all I really know is I'm a kid so they call me The Kid or The Child. I don't know anything about myself except for what I'm not

Am I supposed to be aware that I'm not the others? I think because we're all autistic we sort of take the term amnesia literally to mean we shouldn't know or remember literally anything, but then all our lives would be spent relearning absolutely everything, so that's not real for me

But I know I'm not the me I'm meant to be. I'm supposed to be the state I think people call the host, but I'm not. I'm just a kid. And my voice in and out is different and none of the music we have saved is really right for me.

All I really know is I like our favourite game and I can play it good, and I really like our caretaker, and everyone else, and I want everyone to be happy and do what they want and live in sunshine.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say anymore but I really just feel weird, like there's a massive gap in the self of me, something about me that I'm missing, and I feel really weird for being aware that I am, I think, that alter thing. (Sun, our caretaker, explained the DID thing a while ago to me internally but I don't really remember much)

Anyway if anyone else has any similar experiences I'd really appreciate it, knowing I'm not that weird or anything like that, or if anyone knows how to help or what I can do about it

Thanks everyone!! c: