I am not sure if I have DID, I am not diagnosed but I am diagnosed with having schizoaffcetive disorder and BPD. I went through a very bad breakup where my ex who told me I have narcissistic personalities and possible DID from how frequent I change, it was hard for her to know which personality comes out and she has been feeling like she has to be walking on egg shells lately. With the voices in my head, our conversation beyond suicide attempts was to move away to another state for the best of her. I am always a monster, so I moved away. Lately, I can feel other personality coming through, something dark, I keep it inside, it wants to hurt people and break things, it wants me to hurt myself, with the voices in my head it talks to me, it makes me want to take sharp things and drive it into my flesh, the pain makes it want to come out and I am scared. The monster I have been hiding, it wants to kill and hurt others. I practice Buddhism, meditate and I keep trying to remind myself to be kind to drive it down. There is another, he wants to be the mother to other people and I find myself feeling divided with my sexuality. I just keep reminding myself of kindness... What am I?