I feel like I’m starting to pathologise my behaviour to justify to myself I really do have DID/OSDD/ whatever other undiagnosed disorder. Either that or I’m starting to notice how my brain functions and it’s stressing me out.

Whenever I struggle to remember something or misplace something I get worried about my symptoms getting worse. I do think that I have more amnesia than it seems and we just mask it well by switching often, but I don’t think it’s actually related to losing things occasionally. Regardless, this is causing me a lot of self doubt right now.

I think not being able to find professional support is starting to get to me- I tried to find a specialist but apparently none exist anywhere near me. I haven’t talked to my current therapist about any of this out of fear of being told ‘I can’t help with that’ again. I don’t think I even want a diagnosis, I just need more support- I wish that it wasn’t so difficult.