Our birthday has always sort of been a point of upset in our lives. It's weird for every alter. Our child alter that never got to celebrate her birthday the way she wanted and be like other kids, our teen who tried to end our life on the day many times because she doesn't want to be around anymore, our host who just wants to make everyone around her happy and not make waves in our family. The other 2 just kinda try and hold everything together but we always freak out at the end of the day. Its become a torturous day. Our husband always makes sure that we aren't alone on that day because he's afraid of bad things happening if we are alone. We don't want to see the happy birthday texts, we don't want to be sang that stupid song, we don't want to eat cake. We don't even like cake and everyone forgets that every year. Presents only feel nice if they are genuine and the people don't expect things in return, we don't experience that though. We can't handle aging and feeling like another year older, it just hurts and feels like a reminder about how we feel like we should have been dead a long time ago. We feel more dead every year. The only bright side to this year is we know we will have therapy scheduled that day.