Trigger Warnings: Self Harm, Threats of Violence, Brief Mention of Disordered Eating

Background: We are a small system with our primary members of Ruby (Myself) - The mature one, Emily - the host & Alex - the little. We additionally have ‘The Mind’ who primarily talks about Emily in the third person but as if they are Emily. We then have a member whom has an affinity for blood and unfortunately no name.

The Problem: The headmate with the affinity for blood on a semi regular basis hurts our body, despite us trying to tell them the harm it does. It’s unclear if they are malicious or emotionally undeveloped as they don’t really communicate much with us. We have tried some techniques to prevent this headmate hurting us, for example removing sharp objects and getting an ink roller with a blood colour to it, but neither have helped and if anything seems to have made them more determined.

Unfortunately, the poor behaviour of this headmate is rubbing of on the host, Emily who has a history of self harm and disordered eating behaviour.

Today, Emily managed to get herself banned from a support group for improper conduct, and in response to that cut the body with total disregard for anyone else. When confronted she explained the ‘cause’ but refused to discuss any further.

She then proceeded to threaten to hurt the body again if we ate. I’m unable to determine wether the threats are real, it’s not normal for her to make them. A friend suggested Emily is lashing out because she is incredibly stressed and scared. Sometimes I can communicate with Emily directly, other times it’s only possible to communicate via a trusted friend. On occasion she point blank refuses to engage.

Context of our support network: We have a couple of friends who know we are plural and try their best to help out and a counsellor whom Emily sees once a week (which is coming to an end soon) - the counsellor doesn’t know we are plural. We are also on a wait list for therapy whom also don’t know we are plural, and I don’t think it would be easy to explain and for them to understand. Additionally, the NHS refuses to fund specialist therapy for plural people, so I’m not sure what benefit there is of disclosing we are plural. For reference we don’t have a diagnosis, and don’t know how to seek one, but it seems it wouldn’t open any additional support options to us.

What we are looking for: A way to communicate with the headmate who has the blood kink and get them to understand the issues with what they are doing and change what they do.