Please read carefully and thoroughly before messaging us.

We are looking for a regular stunt cock or cocks.

If you meet the following criteria let’s talk. If not. You may be a hell of a great guy but sexually it isn’t happening. Sorry. Just an aside please don’t waste your time or ours by trying to convince us that you’re the exception.

Physical. 5’ 9” to 6’ 4” Caucasion or possibly Hispanic only (sorry guys of other races) Physically fit. No beer bellies please. You don’t have to be a Greek God but please have at least a nodding acquaintance with exercise. Ideally slim, muscular, and athletic build, and with an 8 pack but unless a miracle happens that’s not likely and we know it.

Shaven below the neck or at least well groomed. Shaven is preferred. Scruff to a light beard is fine but no ZZ Top impersonators.

Above average dick size 7” or longer 4 to 5” girth. Longer and thicker could be interesting. Cut please.

18 to 40. Exceptions can be made for older gentlemen but you’d have to be very unique.
High IQ and well versed on many subjects. Able to hold a conversation in any crowd. Good sense of humor and sarcasm. Self confident enough to be silly.

Must be able to quote Monty Python.

Patient. We’re not going to read replies today and go ‘hey let’s go fuck this guy’ tonight. We’re looking for someone but with busy lives, holidays, and schedules, it’s going to be after the first of the year before we actually meet someone unless a miracle happens.

Sexual. Respectful of boundaries. Light anal play is okay but full on anal sex is out (we’ve tried it isn’t her thing or mine). No overt abuse or rudeness. We’re not into BDSM but a little light choking or butt slapping is okay. Name calling is out. Dominant is okay but not to the point of degrading. Straight but confident and comfortable with another guy on the other end. Bi is okay but don’t expect to be giving or receiving with us between two guys.
Obviously must be ‘clean’ and able to prove it.
Protection is always required. No bareback EVER unless (see below).

ETC. ABSOLUTELY NO CHEATERS. Got a wife or a girlfriend? Nope. We don’t care if you get a ‘hall pass’ we’ve been down that road . If you’re involved elsewhere we have no interest period. If you get involved elsewhere that’s great but we’re done. That would make too many potential complications for us.

No couples. Sorry. She isn’t interested in other females and neither am I. This also pertains to pic swap / pic share. No. Not interested.

No ‘drive byes’. If you’re going to be in town or near us that’s cool but we’re not looking for a one and done situation. We are looking for something longer term than meet for drinks once and go back to your hotel , house, or apartment, to fuck. While that is a great fantasy it has been our experience it takes about 3 times (sessions) for everybody to get really comfortable and for the real magic to happen. We’re looking for someone that we can call on Monday and say ‘so what’s up Saturday night? Want to hang out?’ on a regular basis long term. Lets make this clear here. We don’t necessarily want to be exclusive but we do want a guy or guys we can count on fairly regularly to be ‘up’ to the task.

Fakes, flakes, and pic collectors. Ya we don’t send anything you don’t see on reddit until we’ve played a few times in person. Nice try though. Granted I have a few friends I share special content with but I’m not looking to make more special friends.

Be patient. We have lives. We can’t just drop them and run willy nilly to fuck some random guy. If you don’t have patience which could be a month or two easily before we meet in person then move along. Looking to drain your balls tonight? That is not happening with us unless you just want to jack off to our pics / videos which we used to share fairly liberally but we’re way more selective now. She doesn’t fly solo. A) I love to be part of the action and B) I will not risk her safety with a stranger. We’ve only done the ‘hotwife’ thing once and I was okay with it because I trusted the guy (HUGE mistake) but if you think I’m going to just send her to you internet stranger and trust you that’s simply not going to happen.

If you’re interested here’s some tips.

**1) Don’t lead with a dick pic. It’s a dick. We’ve seen plenty. When we swap pics whether your dick is in it or not we want to see facial structure even if it’s from below the nose to however far down you want us to see. We also want to make sure she’s attracted to your body. You might have the nicest and prettiest dick in the world but if it’s attached to Jabba The Huts stunt double it’s a solid ‘no’. As far as pics. Once we see yours interest it will be deleted regardless. We don’t save pics that are not put in the public domain and we expect the same.

2) Again be patient. You will be talking on reddit to the (the husband only) for a while. If I find someone interesting enough and I think she’d be attracted to you I’ll let her know then we’ll let you know. If you don’t keep in touch on reddit regularly you will be dismissed.

3) Don’t push for a meet. Again we’re both busy as we’re sure you are. If or when we’ve decided if we want to meet you we’ll let you know but we won’t push. If it happens it happens. If it doesn’t we are not too fussed. Conversely if we decide we don’t want to meet you we’ll let you know politely. You may be a hell of a guy but if the spark aint there it aint there.

4) We do not have nor will ever have kik, snap, or any other kind of phone app. It’s a pain in my ass and when I’m not home in front of my computer I don’t have time for messaging on my phone.

5) Don’t ask for more pics. Look if you’re a pic collector and just want to jack off that’s fine with me. Say so. You never know you might get lucky. Every now and then she gets a kick out of a tribute. Don’t bullshit me / us. Maybe we’ll share with a pic collector maybe we won’t. Just depends on the trust level and what we’re feeling at the time.

6) Central TX near Hillsboro maximum 1 hour driving distance. Think DFW / Waco. Any more than an hour or so driving distance is a solid nope.

7) You are able and willing to host. People who can’t host throw up a lot of warning signs to us and will ALWAYS get a ‘no thanks’. **

Bonus points.
Fixed (now that’s the dream right there). Let’s face it bareback is better but we don’t want to catch anything we can’t throw back especially a child. So if you’re fixed be able to provide proof. Personally I’m surprised more guys don’t do it in their mid 20’s. I did. It’s very freeing.

Clean (not really a bonus point but I had to shove it in here somewhere). She gets tested regularly and I don’t play with anyone else EVER. So be able to prove you’re clean. Also a recent COVID test is required for now. They’re free locally and only take three days to pass (even though it’s only 80% accurate 80% on that is a risk we’re okay with).

420 friendly. Smoking with her is a huge plus and we have top shelf quality shit.

Okay with ‘game film’. We enjoy watching our adventures during dry spells. We respect privacy and only share what’s mutually agreeable between all parties. (I’m pretty fair at video editing so your face or identifying marks will never be shown or shared but there are the occasions that I might want to post a 30 second clip of a particularly interesting moment but with your permission first).

If you meet the above or at least of the criteria stated shoot us a DM. If you don’t I’m sorry but move on. You are not for us nor are we going to be good for you.