This account is six years old, we've actually met redditors, and we're easy to meet when we're at Club Eden, so we're definitely real. Here's more info than you likely wanted to know:

• We're real, but not for everyone. We're attractive and reasonably fit, but way older than everyone else here.
• Single males under 35: She says no.
• Single males over 35: Only if you're down for oral bi play in a threesome.
• Couples: We love attractive couples, straight or bi. Neither of us plays solo with a new couple.
• Single females: Yes, she is bi, has a standing hall pass to play alone, and she is NOT a pillow princess.
• Send face pics. If we're interested, we'll send ours.
• We are not a cuck couple; telling us how well you'll fuck her just gets you blocked.
• If we aren't a match, don't message; we have a lot to reply to already.
• If we don't reply, we aren't interested. Don't keep messaging.
• Yes, she's a hotwife, but solo play with her only happens in a few situations, and meeting a new redditor isn't one of them.
• If you don't really play, we're down for being just friends with tire kickers, but not pic traders.
• If you ask us about tonight, it better be about dinner. We don't do instant hookups.
• Like most really attractive women, she's picky. Deal with it.
• We're extremely selective about who we fuck, but not who sits at our table at Club Eden. Come join us.

Female half is very bi, would consider a girlfriend just for her.

Send us a message that says more than "Hey".

We don't automatically reject for age, but if you're really young, you better be really convincing.

We're in our 60's; it's not young faces attached to the fit bods, and we're not donning paper bags for you. We're in Gun Barrel City, Tx.

For single males (since there seems to be so many of you, and most seem so clueless):

We're no longer interested in straight single male redditors. See the comments below.

Male half has 7 inches. If you aren't at least nearly that long, move on. With couples, this requirement doesn't necessarily apply, and we'll consider straight couples too.

We don't chat with dicks. If that's the only pic you have, move on. If you call yourself a bull, we aren't interested.

No day play; if you can't get out in the evening, move on.

Female half doesn't play alone unless you've already been a part of threesomes with us.

Low effort insta-fuck meetings may be the norm on reddit, but that's not us. If a dinner first is too much trouble, move on.

Oh, and it's me, the male half who posts and answers messages, so messaging to call me beautiful or gorgeous isn't going to score too many points. My female half has instructed me to only consider bi male redditors. If you're straight, but bound to try and seduce her anyway, get yourself a tinder account and find her there. She does the chatting there, and still considers straight males. Good luck, you'll need it.

Red flags that end the conversation pretty quickly:

Not giving us physical info. We do have physical requirements, and if getting that out of you ends up like trying to get blood from a turnip, we'll just move on.

No face pic. If we don't like the face, there will be no meetup, so we're just not going to spend a lot of time chatting without seeing your face. If you message us, send a face pic. If we're interested, we'll send ours.

If you lead with just crude stuff, I won't just ignore, I'll block.

If you keep sending messages after I've ignored you or told you we're not interested, I block.