Hello everyone, I (F32) don't even know why I'm writing this here. I guess I feel totally alone and misunderstood being a little girl and here I have always seen the affection and empathy that people have towards others.

I feel really broken, after several failures (some even abusive) in having DDLG relationships. I always think that "x" person is good and has the qualities of a daddy that I like but then he turns out to be an abusive manipulator, or a liar who claimed to know but then doesn't even show interest on this world. Others who are great as a daddy but as a person only have redflags...

I don't have other little friends, I'm still very reserved on that topic since in my environment no one understands and judges that type of life. The person who I thought understood and accepted me the most makes me feel even more alone, he has no concern for me even when I explain my fears and my problems. Even when he said that he wanted to learn to be my daddy and take care of me, I don't see an ounce of interest even when I explain to him, show posts, forums, videos...etc. I don't feel cared for or even listened to. I feel like I'm always alone because no one cares enough about me and I'm tired of having to take care of myself so hard. As a person who had to mature and take charge of herself much earlier than it was supposed to be. I feel like I can't take it anymore and I would like to find someone who would give me enough confidence to be able to leave him in charge of my life (in certain way, not 100%). And I know it's a lot to ask at first, but no matter how much I try in my relationships, I end up being the one who takes care of the other person and myself at the same time.

I don't really want advice or anything like that, I guess I just need to throw up my feelings to someone who doesn't judge me and can understand that part of me. I'm sorry I didn't bring something cute and sweet... but I don't feel cute or sweet anymore... my little one is tired too.