Hello! I want to start by saying that I very much hope this post is taken in the spirit it's intended. That is, to genuinely provide some advice that may help you in your quest to find a partner. Disclaimer: I'm pretty confident this will apply to Littles as well, but as my experience has been occasionally and successfully searching for a Daddy over 10 years, I cannot speak to that experience.

As anyone in the CGl space can attest, many people have a VERY hard time finding a partner. Finding someone who is open to your kink(s), AND is someone with whom you get on well and want the same thing out of a partnership, AND is either local or open to relocation. . . Well, the pool narrows extremely quickly. There isn't much you can do to alleviate that.

What you can do is work on self-awareness and communication. This is the tough love part. Sweet Jesus some potential Daddies are awful at communicating. I'm not even talking about when you're actually in the relationship and need to commit to open, honest, and vulnerable communication. I'm talking about when you first start speaking with someone and are in the initial getting to know each other phase.

As I said, I've been at this for 10 years. This has been consistent throughout that time, across language and culture barriers, ages, demographics, etc. If you are interested in getting to know someone for a possible relationship, you must be able to hold engaging conversations.

I promise, you don't need to live somewhere cool or have an unusual job/hobbies or be an expert in something to be an engaging conversationalist. You do need to have something to say and be able to ask questions without it feeling like an interrogation. There are so. Many. Men. (again, simply my experience and I expect it applies to women as well but cannot speak to that) who just cannot hold a conversation. It's very sad to me in truly the least condescending way possible. I wish happiness to each and every one of you looking for your princess/little/baby/whathaveyou, and lacking in this skillset is so limiting.

Because I like to present solutions instead of just complaints, I wanted to share some tips for being a strong conversationalist. I welcome any and all feedback and conversation!

• Ask questions about the other person. This does not include answering questions they have asked you and tacking on a "What about you?" Those are legitimate and move the conversation along, but do not count as asking someone a question about themselves. Here is a list of questions to help guide you if you're someone who feels uncomfortable coming up with questions. I haven't gone through all of them, but I skimmed and there are some good ones.

• Keep most of your questions open-ended. If someone can answer with a single yes or no, you're not giving yourself any runway to continue and build the conversation. Think: "Did you have a nice day?" vs "How was your day?". Now someone could certainly be annoying and respond with "Good.", but this at least gives the opportunity to share more about their life and what they enjoy/value.

• Respond thoughtfully to their answers to your questions. Asking is half of this equation. After hearing their response to a question, react to it. It doesn't have to be a dissertation, but something like "That's so cool! What do you like most about xyz?" shows interest, engagement, and investment in the conversation. Do not rapid-fire questions at them without acknowledging their response. This immediately starts to feel like an interrogation/interview.

• Be able to talk about yourself and your interests. I cannot tell you the number of times I have asked someone to tell me about themselves, and they respond with "idk" or some variation of not knowing how to talk about themselves. You are literally the only human being in the entire world who is an expert on you, your life, your hobbies, interests, values, etc. If you can't speak to those, it's a problem. Do not shift the burden back to the other person by telling them to ask you anything or more specific questions. "Is there anything in particular you'd like to know about?" Is an exception only WHEN accompanied by the ability to articulate SOMETHING about yourself.

• When in doubt, take the lead. This absolutely does not apply to every Little, but most of us are looking for a relationship where you exude SOME sense of guidance or direction. If a potential Daddy can't take the lead by texting me first on occasion, exhibiting confidence in themselves and adding to the conversation, it just does not instill confidence in your abilities as a Daddy/CG. Do not confuse this with jumping into dominating, controlling, or expecting reverence from someone.

Well, I'm sure I have more to say, but my thumbs hurt, and I need to put down my phone. Like I said, please take this as intended- as a genuinely helpful and kind nudge to reflect and up your game. These initial conversations are so, so important and can make or break interest in someone. On that note, if you are NOT interested in continuing to get to know someone, tell them! It doesn't have to be a big thing. Tell them you appreciate their time and wish them luck, but you don't sense a connection. Or if you've been talking for a few days and the conversation is going nowhere? This may be controversial, but I think just not further engaging is acceptable. If they continue to reach out, let them know the above.

I hope you've found this helpful. My DMs are open if anyone wants to talk about this!

Best of luck!