I do this a lot. It tends to be the first day that I discover the song, and of course, the first play through hits the absolute hardest. Chills, freeze wherever I'm at, sob silently. Hit replay and just really dig into the lyrics and instrumentals. Cry some more, maybe harder and with more gusto. And just keep playing until eyes are sore, cheeks feel pruned and pickled. Nose stuffy, chest achey. So it gets played over 3x, and soon I just leave it alone a while. Revisit it randomly, get teary-eyed, but feel a sort of unexplainable relief and not cry again. I'm glad Spotify catalogs my repeated tracks lol, reminds me of shit that broke me. I know I'm a very emotional person, and music always elicits profound feelings of every kind for me and always has. It's sometimes positive feelings or emotions of like a righteous anger that helps me do better. Reminds me not to give in or up.

Today, the gut-wrenching song is Pain Remains by Lorna Shore. It's attributed to my last relationship. For me, it's pretty much grieving someone that's still alive. I had to deal with a version of that over my dad passing from covid a few years ago. Yeah, it was an estranged relationship, and I had to grieve him while he was alive for years, and his passing was just a literal nail in the coffin for me. It is so complicated, those emotions. Had a few songs for that experience. One was, Todo Pasa by Carla Morrison. Another was, Saturn by Sleeping at Last. So yeah, just wondering if anyone else uses music in a cathartic vein as well. If so, what's it been and what for if you don't mind sharing? I need some solidarity right now. And a good hug.