Hello, I've decided to make this post and ask for help/insight in the midst of all of my soul searching and recent quarter-life crisis these past 6 months. If I at all even remotely sound like I'm ungrateful or humble-bragging etc in this post, I apologize because that is not my intention; just feeling lost right now.

Since legally immigrating to the US in 2002, I have been living in perpetual immigration limbo due to an unlucky streak with past immigration lawyers. My initial application for DACA also got frozen right before biometrics due to the initial Texas ruling, so I'm SOL on that front until further notice. Life-wise, here's where I currently stand:

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• 23M living in California, from Philippines w/ legal entry (I-94) and non-expired updated passport DL
• Bachelor's degree roughly $85,000 in take-home income from contractor & freelance work, after taxes
• Clean record & good moral character
• Non-USC parents have pending i-797 and expected to get green cards before 2025-26 (mom: family petition/dad: work petition EAD), US-born younger sister who turns 21 in June and dual-citizenship grandma on mom's side

All of this ultimately brings me now to the question: Should I stay or should I go?

Comparison is the thief of joy, but it's been very hard for me to apply that mentality in my life when I've always felt like the black sheep. Being surrounded by all of your friends that are US citizens and who can freely work, vote, travel etc... meanwhile it's felt like your entire life has been built on an unstable foundation. My only two options out of my rut right now are to either get married to a USC or be petitioned by my sister when she turns 21, but am I really going to wait another 10-20 years and watch my youth fly by before I can fully start living my life instead of surviving? I've only ever had one girlfriend (USC) who I told my status to immediately once things were getting serious, and while she didn't care and actually wanted to date to marry, we broke up at the start of this year because of different life trajectories and since then, it's all felt like I'm back at square one. I'm scared to go out and date other people because I'm scared of my circumstances being a dealbreaker for commitment, that I'm considering crawling back to my ex and begging on my knees for a second chance to try our relationship out again because I know she wanted to date to marry in the first place. And I especially don't want to just marry someone for the sake of getting a green card, if I ever ended up married to someone I want it to be out of true mutual love.

With an uncertain election year and the future of DACA, undocumented, and in-limbo Americans like me up in the air, what do you all think I should do? Should I thug things out and try to find true love wait for new potential immigration pathways in the future, or should I just give up, throw in the towel, and try my luck back home in the Philippines as much as I don't want to because I have a lot of resentment and spite towards my home country (I wish I was born in the USA sentiment)? I'm turning 24 this year and I feel like my life is over, meanwhile it feels like everyone else around me continues to build their futures. I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to throw away all of my progress and hard work but what's the point if it feels like I'll never be a US citizen in my lifetime?

End rant... Thank you for reading. ANY advice, insight, and brutal honesty appreciated-- if I sound like a buffoon who needs to be set straight please don't hold back.