TLDR; ex-wife says she is filing for 50/50 custody IMO because her support obligation is going up.

My ex-wife had an affair with someone at her dance studio. Caught them together in a bar parking lot at 3am. She was unrepentant. Lots of stuff I'd tried to talk with her about for years, all of it comes out. I suck as a husband, he sings showtunes with her.

We tried cohabiting but got in an argument. She called the cops on me and lied to get me kicked out on DV charges (which were dropped, but that took six months!)

She left the kids and the house about a month after she got me kicked out, so I was able to move back in. Take care of the kids, pay the mortgage and all the bills. She has never claimed I am anything but a great dad. She literally sent the kids to me a few days after she lied to the cops to get me kicked out. I got her and her affair partner on security cam while they were with me, true story.

So I have the kids and the house. She asks to see the kids a few hours on Weds and every other weekend. I agree. She's makes about 80% of the visits, sometimes has "other stuff" going on.

She didn't pay any support or help with any bills until the divorce was finalized. I forgave about $3,000 in arrears. She pays child support and maintains an interest in the sale of the home, but pays nothing towards bills or mortgage.

I just found out she got a new job. It will bump her support up about $200/month. She got this job a couple weeks after divorce is finalized, she doesn't report it to me or the court. I found out. (Picking up a theme why she's my ex? lol)

When I sent her the support calculator, she responds asking for mercy. Then slow rolls it for three weeks. Now, she just responded that she is going to file for 50/50 custody - so she doesn't have to pay support.

"This arrangement also makes child support based on who is the higher earner. If you agree, I would prefer no child support at all, and that we just share expenses, like sports, camps, school pictures, etc. evenly."

She told me leading up to divorce she didn't want to be a mom, and that it didn't matter if she slept under the same roof as the kids because they aren't awake. She didn't just agree to a few hours on Weds and every other weekend, she is the one who proposed it during divorce mediation!

In my opinion, she's gone out and had her fun and now it's a year and a half later and she feels like being a mom again. I don't think it should work that way. I don't opt in and out of being a dad and I sorely miss my kids when they aren't home with me.

Not to mention that appearances are really important to her, so I know she wants a better story to tell than the status quo.

I told her to send me the paperwork and she already filled it out "parties don't agree". Which is accurate. I don't see how I could agree to this.

IMO this will emphasize the broken home.

Thoughts?