Totally new to reddit so hopefully this works.

My partner (29M) and I (32F) have bee together for almost 9yrs. We have explored different avenues of our sexual relationship including, both being dominating/submissive and the roles within that, some just talking and others following through, from cuck, hotwife, chastity (both male and female), cuckquean etc etc.

We have mostly focused on me dom while he is sub/sissy/cuck/flr etc. This is majority lead by him while i do enjoy most it. Recently, we have switched from me dom to him dom where idk how i feel about it. He really wants to do cuckquean. we have previously dipped our toes in with him messaging some other girls but he has never actually done anything physical because i always get so insecure about it.

Can someone please explain from his pov how it isnt cheating and how he wont develop feelings/emotions. Am i over reacting to the whole this as i think its cheating and become very defensive and angry about it? I want to understand from his pov but i cant talk to him about it because i go into defense and thag he wants this because he doesnt love me and im not good enough etc.