PROLOGUE:Having some sort of sticky in this sub is long overdue. This is something that the previous mod, Cyclist and I discussed, but it was low on my list and, TBH, I kind of forgot about it. That being said, this is not meant to be a comprehensive list/description/overview of what Cuckqueaning is, as I personally feel that the experience varies from couple to couple. Feel free to read and provide your comments, opinions, and suggestions. I'm happy to include them when I feel they apply to the overall community. Also, please note that I am the male part of a Cuckquean couple, so my opinions and definitions of Queans and Cakes are based on my experiences and discussions with women who identify in those roles.
Chapter 1: What is a Cuckquean/Cuckqueaning?
You would think this would be evident to most people who find themselves on this sub, as they would generally need to search that specific term. However, you would probably be surprised by the number of posts that get blocked, removed, or otherwise get reported because they just don't apply to this community. Let's start with a simple overview of what Cuckqueaning is all about.
The term Cuckquean is a derivative of the more mainstream male kink/fetish Cuckold, which is basically a guy who is aroused by watching another man fuck his female partner. Except, in this case, it's the female who enjoys watching her male partner fuck another female. This is the most basic form of Cuckqueaning. It typically involves the humiliation or degradation of the Cuckquean by either the male partner or the female he is fucking, or both. There are some variations to consider. From a sexual orientation standpoint, it is possible that a Cuckquean couple could consist of two women, as well as the third person involved being a male. By definition, only the Cuckquean is female, otherwise, it would be the male version, a Cuckold, and that has it's own subs here on Reddit.
The main terms to know are:
Cuckquean (FISD's definition): A Cuckquean is a female member a couple the derives pleasure from watching and/or hearing about her partner flirting or engaging in sexual activity with another person. In the cis-gendered world, the partner is male and the person that he engages with is female. However, this is not always the case.
Cuckcake (FISD's definition): A Cuckcake is the person whom the Cuckquean's partner engages with. Again, in the cis-gendered world, this is typically a female.
Not every Cuckquean likes to be humiliated or degraded. Some only prefer the male partner to engage in that activity, others only the Cuckcake to do so. If there is no humiliation involved, the more appropriate term for the arrangement is Hot-husbanding, which is a derivative of Hot-wifing. Alternatively, it is referred to as Stag and Vixen.
Hot-husband (Stag): The male half of a couple that flirts with, engages in sexual activity, or otherwise pursues a female other than his partner (Vixen), at that partner's request.
Chapter 2: Am I (is my partner) a Cuckquean?
The easy answer is: it depends. Certainly, one can call themselves whatever they want. I could call myself the Queen of England if I wanted to, and believe it! That being said, given the above definitions/descriptions, it should be clear whether you are a Cuckquean or not. However, here are a few things to note:
- Sexual intercourse isn't required. Your partner doesn't actually have to fuck another woman for you to be a Cuckquean. If the idea of it happening is enough to arouse you, that's perfectly fine. During sex, I often tell my partner about past sexual escapades or women that I fantasize about being with and it drives her just as crazy as if she were watching it all unfold.
- The Cuckquean does not have to be present during activities. Some Queans like to be there when things (or people) go down, some don't. Some want to know about it as it's happening, some only want to hear about it after the fact. There's no right or wrong here, it's your kink/fetish, make it what you want it to be.
- The Cuckquean can interact with the Cuckcake, but it's not required. This could almost be a chapter of its own, but I will condense it down to this small section. Bisexuality in the Quean or Cake is not required, but in my experience has been common. Also, it has been my experience that couples with a Cuckquean relationship often have other kinks/fetishes or non-cis-gendered orientations. Again, it's your kink/fetish, make it what you want it to be.
Chapter 3: Am I a Cuckcake?
Again, this should be pretty evident. Do you get aroused by the thought of flirting with or fucking another woman's partner? If the answer is yes, then you ARE a Cuckcake. You are a unicorn amongst unicorns and you need to share yourself with as many Cuckquean couples as possible during your short life. Okay, that last part is tongue-in-cheek, but seriously, there's a high demand for you and you will be treated well. If you're not, drop those losers and move on to another couple that appreciates you for who you are and the magical relationship you offer. Important things to note as a Cake:
- Humiliation/Degradation varies. Some Queans will want you to humiliate them. Some Queans will only want to be humiliated by their partner. Some will want to say awful shit to you or their partner. Make sure that you know what you are okay with and be upfront about it.
- You don't have to fuck anyone. Obviously, many of these relationships are about physical intimacy, but they can be emotional as well. Also, if you're not into fucking the Quean, or her being present, you don't have to do that. Just be honest about it in the beginning.
- Boundaries are important. Know what your boundaries are, know what the couple's boundaries are. If everyone respects everyone else's boundaries there shouldn't be a problem.
Chapter 4: How do I make my partner a Cuckquean?
You don't. Seriously. Stop it. Shame on you.
However... your partner might have an interest in being a Cuckquean if they have ever mentioned or expressed interest in, OF THEIR OWN VOLITION, some of the following things and you might start having a conversation regarding this kink/fetish:
- Asking for detailed descriptions of your past sexual encounters. Commenting about how hot it sounds.
- Asking for the above while you're having sex.
- Being aroused by you flirting with other women.
- Commenting about other women flirting with you, in a positive manner.
- She tells you that the idea of you with another woman is hot.
Nothing in the above list (with the exception of the last item) is a concrete indication that your partner is interested. Look for frequency and context, as indications. Have an open and honest conversation and ask her if she finds the situation arousing. If you can't ask that question, your relationship is not in the right place for Cuckqueaning.
Chapter 5: How do we make this work?
This post is not about how to find Cakes. That's a magical equation of persistence and luck that will be a sticky topic of its own. This section is about how to make the Cuckquean relationship work. It's a tricky dance of emotion and has the potential to unravel real quick. That being said, here are some pointers that have worked for me and my partner:
- You need to have incredible communication with your partner. You have to be willing to share everything. Secrets lead to mistrust, which is a recipe for disaster.
- 100% honesty and complete trust. Be upfront about how you are feeling. It's okay to be nervous, or jealous, or to not want it to happen even though you did the night before. Consent is consent. You have to have it from all parties and consent can stop immediately. Can that be frustrating? Absolutely, but if you can't walk away from this at a moment's notice, then this is not the activity for you.
- Set boundaries. Have clearly defined ideas of what is okay and what is not okay. Have a plan and stick to it. No audibles last minute! If the Quean is not cool with finishing inside the Cake, don't do it. No matter how bad the Cake might beg. No matter how much the Quean might beg you to. If you didn't plan on something, don't do it. Make a note and put it in your plan for the next time.
- Have constant evaluations/re-evaluations. Before, after, during. Check with your partner. Check with your Cake. Make sure that everyone is still having fun.
- Lastly, and most importantly, your relationship should be rock-solid, before you do this. This will NOT fix your rocky relationship. This shouldn't be the only way either party can be fully aroused or fulfilled. This should be something that enhances or augments your already healthy emotional and sexual relationship. There are WAY too many variables in this type of arrangement that could lead to disaster. Proceed lightly and with caution.
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