My cuckquean wife and I have been together for nearly two decades, and have been into the lifestyle for some time. However, in the last year her interest in the kink have kicked into overdrive. Normally she leaves me to do the footwork and finding people, but now she's almost smothering about it (not that I mind.) I'll be checking a work email at my computer, and she'll scoot up to me all excited and asking if I'm scoping out a fuck. Or if I reach for my phone to check the time, she'll perk up and ask me if I'm flirting with someone. When I'm not, she's neutral, but when I am actually talking to someone, she gets more excited than I've ever seen her. She does these little check ups every opportunity, making at least a dozen plus every day.

One firm rule we have though is she has to approve all play beforehand. If I want something, I have to approach her, lay out all the facts and plans, and then get her final call. This is fine with me, but it does mean we usually don't have anything spontaneous happen. Which again, I can easily live with because my wife is so awesome.

However, in the past few weeks, almost daily, she's been doing something curious. Any time I leave the house and come back (from going to work, or to go swim, to grab groceries, or even stepping outside to get the mail) she immediately asks me if I snuck off to fuck someone behind her back. Not in a paranoid 'omg he's cheating on me' way, but rather in a mix I can't quite place. Something between dread and stupidly horny.

I sat her down and talked to her about it, asking if this was something she was hinting at and wanted me to do. She was embarrassed, and in a very mousy way, told me she isn't sure what her new feelings were telling her. That she wouldn't know till it happened.

NOW FOR YOU FINE FOLKS OF THE SUBREDDIT:

Should I...

-> Just keep to our current agreement until she unequivocally makes up her mind on this dynamic.

Or

-> Should I take the plunge and 'surprise her' with an off the books encounter so she gets to experience the feelings from this (be they good or bad.)

I'm confident the relationship will survive either choice undamaged, but I keep getting these vibes from her that I should go do it. But again, even if the relationship is stable, I don't want to do any needless hurt to her. So, hearing others takes would be appreciated!