[Posting here because I think I'd be pretty sexually compatible with a cuckquean]

Heyyyy ~

I don't take the black cat and golden retriever stuff too seriously. It just kinda gives people an idea of what I like.

Yey so my goal in life is to own a business and then make enough until I can just live on dividends for the rest of my life, so my family wouldn't need to work. I want to retire in my 20s, and then just be happy with my future girlfriend.

We could just play video games, go to the gym together, watch stuff like anime or very messed up horror movies together especially, massage each other a bunch, go out to eat a lot maybe but still having a realitively healthy diet with veggies and fruits and nuts especially, we can circle jerk with "bro" talk and dumb internet memes, lounge around and get stinky and musky unless we have to go out, getting really really freaky multiple times a day, selfishly I want to be the center of your attention more than most couples I think so I like clinginess but still being respectful of alone time. I want to travel the world a bit too. I'm not outdoorsy, but if it's with someone I love then hell ye

You can get to know me. I am very reserved irl, and I've practically been sharing my vulnerabilities with strangers as a kink. I don't feel interested in doing much that's not terminally online atm (anhedonia). The above paragraph is where I'd like to be with someone. Not to say I'm not working on my mental health, but for a lack of a less gross term that doesn't sound use-y, I want someone who is the primary emotional "provider" of the relationship. I will want to "provide" that too because it should be mutual. I am a sponge for pampering and with a white boi like this who's sensitive, comes from a less fortunate upbringing, easily overwhelmed, socially awkward, and has a lot of stuff that I keep to myself, I think you have your work cut out for you if you want to explore your partner's every quirk, psychoanalyze them, "fix" them (in a healthy non-controlling way), excessively pamper and dote on them, reassure them a lot, mother and nurture them, and drink and harvest their blood platonically. If that sounds appealing at all then, OH MY GOOOOOD WHERE HAVE YOY BENNNNNNN HAII :DDDDD

ahem

i mean wass good cuh

Anyways, we can get to know each other more one-on-one, but here's some of my deal-breakers.

1. You must be 18 (duh).

   1. You have to be very good at communicating aka willing to do the emotional effort with me when needs arise (am hella needy, and ideally you are a little bit too to an extent); like are you willing to get to a point where we strive to never lie to each other or sugar coat things? Would you bury the body with me, or at least support me from the sidelines without putting you at risk too (don't worry I'm no serial killer lol)? Would you be willing to talk about all of your emotions and thoughts, even the ones that you should "never" feel or think? I don't expect you to answer yes to these now, but my point is this: if you aren't willing to work towards a relationship with such a strong emotional bond where you can honestly answer yes to all of these questions, then you're not my type.
   2. Be: trying to be healthy or healthier. I want to live a long time with you.
   3. You shouldn't be a tease-y or bratty person towards me if you're going to date me. I tease a little bit when I flirt sometimes, but 9 times out of 10 we'll go together like water and oil. The vast majority of the time I cannot handle play-fighting or "Oh yeah? Make me." energy.
   4. My main shallow physical deal-breaker is I have a thing for a certain type of eyes, and unfortunately I happen to be very picky about this. I haven't pinpointed exactly what it is yet, but I have some ideas. Generally as a rule of thumb, the more puffy your lower eyelid is, the more likey I will crush HARD. It's not just puffiness in general though. There's a certain way the eye looks that I can't explain in words. I just know it when I see it. The closest words I can find that are associated with what I'm talking about are: (a certain type of) under eye bags, under eyelid exposure, and dennie-morgan fold. Feel free to send an eye pic and face pic of you genuinely smiling (instead of like a say 'cheese' for the camera smile) because that's probably the easiest way to see, but tbh, it's still hard to tell over pics if you're my type. It can still help though. No pics are ok too, but you might just be wasting your time and not know it. I'm willing to video call and see each other if that helps. And just in case your mind goes there, no this is not what you think it is. It's a platonic thing for me (usually lol). I wrote a whole paragraph about it because like less than 1% of women probably have these eyes, and unfortunately (I'm not sure but) I think women tend to be insecure about the eye type I absolutely adore.

Ok that's all I have. I'm too tired to edit lol. Ama if you're interested and got any questions. Feel free to hmu :)

I'd love to talk <3