(Looking for a cuckquean gf! We might be more sexually compatible which is why!)

Heyyyy ~

Regarding the title: the TLDR is take the title with a grain of salt lol. I have trouble describing what I want in a girlfriend. If you end up being interested in me, then send a chat and we'll figure it out from there. But in case you want to know more:

I like being the one who is "pursued" and "hit on" and (I kinda hate this phrasing because it feels shameful but) "taken care of," so to speak. Although depending on the person (obviously), I can be good at the pursuing, and hitting on, and taking care of.

What I am trying to say is um, obviously there should probably be a back and forth because both of us should feel loved instead of just me or just you or even phrasing it as "you too" (as if you don't matter or are being dismissed subtly). And then, what I am trying to say is I am very emotionally needy in a receptive sense much more than a giving sense. Although I need both. Being hugged from behind (eventually maybe), being checked in on, having a natural ability to know me better than myself or maybe just understanding me, asking about me as in being curious, letting me have those therapy/aftercare/dad moments for you, frequently informing me of your thoughts so I don't have to wonder ig, and having you do more for me than I do for you per se (almost like it's unfair, but idk maybe not) and always giving me the benefit of the doubt... um... all of those would make me a very happy man. In other words, my love language is acts of service!

Yey so my goal in life is to own a business and then make enough until I can just live on dividends for the rest of my life, so we wouldn't need to work. I want to retire in my 20s, and then just be happy with my future girlfriend.

We could just play video games, go to the gym together, watch stuff like anime or very messed up horror movies together especially, massage each other a bunch, go out to eat a lot maybe but still having a realitively healthy diet with veggies and fruits and nuts especially, we can circle jerk with "bro" talk and dumb internet memes, lounge around and get stinky and musky unless we have to go out, getting really really freaky multiple times a day, selfishly I want to be the center of your attention more than most couples I think so I like clinginess but still being respectful of alone time. I want to travel the world a bit too. I'm not outdoorsy, but if it's with someone I love then hell ye

You can get to know me. I am very reserved irl, and I've practically been sharing my vulnerabilities with strangers as a kink. I don't feel interested in doing much that's not terminally online atm (anhedonia). The above paragraph is where I'd like to be with someone. Not to say I'm not working on my mental health, but for a lack of a less gross term that doesn't sound use-y, I want someone who is the primary emotional "provider" of the relationship. I will want to "provide" that too because it should be mutual. I am a sponge for pampering and with a white boi like this who's sensitive, comes from a less fortunate upbringing, easily overwhelmed, socially awkward, and has a lot of stuff that I keep to myself, I think you have your work cut out for you if you want to explore your partner's every quirk, psychoanalyze them, "fix" them (in a healthy non-controlling, supportive way), excessively pamper and dote on them, reassure them a lot, mother and nurture them, and drink and harvest their blood platonically for the blood gods. If that sounds appealing at all then, OH MY GOOOOOD WHERE HAVE YOY BENNNNNNN HAII :DDDDD

ahem

i mean wass good cuh

Ok yeah, I wanna apologize for the cringe, but I shouldn't. I need to be more confident lol. I am going to be hella cringe around you so uhhh sorry not sorry. Might as well tell you now uwu 😎 ~

Anyways, we can get to know each other more one-on-one, but here's some of my deal-breakers.

Just to expedite the process...

(1) You must be 18 (duh).

(2) You have to be very good at communicating aka willing to do the emotional effort with me when needs arise (am hella needy, and ideally you are a little bit too to an extent); like are you willing to get to a point where we strive to never lie to each other or I don't know, maybe even sugar coat things?

Would you bury the body with me, or at least support me from the sidelines without putting you at risk too (don't worry I'm no serial killer lol)? Do you want a "ride or die" relationship (as my friend suggested me to add, which you know, sends more romantic than uh... murder... (hehe yum 🤤))?

Would you be willing to talk about all of your emotions and thoughts, even the ones that you should "never" feel or think?

I don't expect you to answer yes to these now, but my point is this: if you aren't willing to work towards a relationship with such a strong emotional bond where you can honestly answer yes to all of these questions, then you're not my type.

(3) I prefer someone who is trying to be healthy/healthier because I want to live a long time with you.

(4) You shouldn't be a tease-y or bratty person towards me if you're going to date me. I tease a little bit when I flirt sometimes, and honestly my most intimate connections have been with the play-fighting/rebellious "I do what I want"/super giga hyper-logical types, but 9 times out of 10 we'll go together like water and oil. The vast majority of the time I cannot handle play-fighting or insults that framed as uncharitable observations or "Oh yeah? Make me." energy. Sorry, I know that's unsexy, but obviously, I'm speaking from experience trying to give you a better idea of my type lol.

(5) My main shallow physical deal-breaker is I have a thing for eyes with a particularly adorable quirk! The eye quirk is: I love "eye love bands" or "aegyo sal!" I recommend looking it up because it's hard to describe, but if you can't be bothered, it's basically just extra puffiness below the eyelids. Anybody could have them and not even realize it because natural love bands are so rare! Even you! You might have it!.. which in that case OMG HAI! :D

Ok uh anyways... that's all folks! 🐷 I'm too tired to edit more lol. Ama if you're interested and got any questions. Feel free to hmu :)

I'd love to talk <3