So to give a bit of backstory …

Before the first time when she made my first ex cheat on me … I never really saw my self as inferior nor beta .. I didn’t think much of her neither . We were friends . I didn’t think she’s like so hot . I just thought she’s cute but very confident and popular . She used to be the leader of the college cheerleading team. So everyone wanted to be her friend and she was popular and loved . While I was more on the lonely side of thing .

Any after the first time when I found out she was fucking my ex.. I just was afraid of confronting her cause she was always very dominant in the way she talks . But also I didn’t wanna loose her .. idk I was afraid of the consequences… I don’t know why I never confronted her .

After a few times of them fuxking . She kinda also saw that I knew but that I acted as if I didn’t and she also acted like nothing is happening .

And that’s when she started changing how she acts around me . She became a lot more condescending. Talking to me meaner. Making a lot of jokes about my insecurities and flaws . Would talk her self up while talking me down. She just made me feel so ugly with how she would talk about me and my flaws. Sometimes she would straight up call me that I look ugly today or so . She said it jokingly but it did hurt. But not only that . Even her actions . She started doing small things . Like ordering me to go open the door while we are sitting all together or bring her water or so … which I didn’t think much of but looking back at it she just always did it. She also always rest her foot on me while watching stuff together . She would just come home and sit next to me and take off her shoe and socks and just throw the socks at me as a joke .. all those small actions the way she spoke to me and making me self conscious .. all that slowly broke me .

Add to that hearing her fuxk my bf at the time almost every night. Hearing her be loud and tell him to say who’s better and him saying her. Then hearing my bf just compliments her or flirt with her while we sit eat or so . And then him breaking up with me randomly and then after she stops fucking him but still act the same way towards me . And repeat it with my next bf or with the guy I told her I have a crush on.

All those things just broke me. She made me believe I was ugly. I was uglier than her. I was not as hot or good as her. I was beneath her . During those 4 years living together she just manipulated and controlled my mind and corrupted it and broke me . And to this day she still has full control over me and just treats me as her slave .

And that’s why I was shocked reading how people thought I was the better looking one because she just made me believe otherwise .