Being the less attractive girl in our friend group just unintentionally made me be the cuck of the group.. because I would always crush on guys that are hotter than me and those guys would just end up with my friends and I would just end up hearing the stories from my friends or just hear them fuck or so on….

But not only that, being that person just made alot of guys talk to me so they can use me as a bridge to get to my friends.. like I would talk to a guy and so and even end up crushing on him and when he meets me with my friends or so in a party, I introduce them to my friends but that’s when I feel inexistant anymore cause those guys would just focus on my friends and so on and ignore me totally and only come back to talk to me by the end of the night if they didn’t succeed to attract any of my friends. He comes back to me hit on me and probably end up fucking… and then I never hear from them again…

Also sometimes, some of the guys that didn’t succeed to get my friends and just end up with me , they just do me doggy and call me by my friends name and ask me to roleplay as her so they can enjoy the sex or so.. which is so humiliating

Even online, when sometimes a guy that I like would just be horny and wanna sext , I do so because I want him to like me … but it’s never normal sexting, I mostly get asked to roleplay as one of my friends and act like her and just send her pictures so the can cum to her.. which is very pathetic of me doing it.

Even the story of my ex cheating on me with my roommate and me hearing them fuck everynight, or just the men that ask me to hold my friends picture over my face while we fuck so they can look at her ..

Idk all those situations are ones I hated because of how degrading and pathetic and how it made me feeel so ugly . But in almost all of them I was turned on , like I came when guys fucked me while I roleplayed as a friend , I orgasmed. When I heard my ex with my roommate I got turned on and started masturbating to the sound, same of when I hear my friends fucking my crush, when I sexted while roleplaying as my friend I get turned on and end up masturbating…

All those situations are situations make me feel pathetic, and I just feel more pathetic for orgasming to them happening, because it’s like I accepted it.