Hey guys, so I find myself here again. I don't know what I could be doing wrong. I didn't realize that it was this difficult to navigate through this. I thought thinhs would be so much simpler.

To catch things up, we sort of had our "first" time. Even though it was completely unexpected, and it was extremely brief because of that unexpected-ness.

What was good about it, is that it fi ally led us to discussing it, and I told her I liked that it happened, and that I am totally okay with more. I told her it turned me on and that it was exciting. And I thought thinhs were kind of going to take off, but they didn't. In fact, they slowed down significantly.

To describe the first time without getting into too much detail (since that's not what thus post is about), we were smoking and drinking at home with a guest, and it turned into a make out sesh. That make out sesh turned into a grinding sesh, with him pulling her shirts to the side to rub her, and in that he slipped in for a few thrusts (she was wearing pj shorts). He went in a good depth, and she rotated her hips on it, and pulled her head back and he was all over kissing her neck, but then moments later she stopped and didn't want to continue.

Well, we talked about it almost immediately after he left. As I mentioned above, we discussed it, I told her I liked it, she admitted really enjoying it too (since we had not had sex for about 2mo at that point), but she doesn't want to get pregnant.

Everything was pretty good after that. We had sex a few times (I always wear a condom), and it was exciting. A couple weekends following that, sex had died down, and she mentioned if I would be opposed to hanging out at home again, with someone just like last time. I was very excited, but I tried to contain myself, and agreed to doing it again. We didn't talk about it further.

She did her hair, wore a nice dress. But we didn't go out. We stayed home. No one came over. It wasn't clear to me if I needed to have invited someone, or if she did and they didn't show. We have not talked about it, and the subject gets avoided when it looks like a conversation is heading to that topic. Idk if it's because she called and he flaked or what. I don't have his number, and she knows that, so I don't know if she expected me to have set it up.

Since that time, we have gone out to a couple of bars. There was this black guy we know who frequents a bar in particular that we are regulars of, who for some reason we always gravitate towards when we are there and see him (he is just a really funny dude). And he has invited us over before, but she says no every time. But while we are there, she talks to him, laughs, seems like she is flirting back you know, plays with her hair... But when he invited us out to his place to smoke or drink, she always says no. So this time, I insisted a little bit, and she wasn't having it. Fine.

The latest and most recent, we were at a dive bar, and she had worn this really cute outfit with cleavage, her hair was up and she got really dolled up (for the first time ever because it's so not her thing to do that). And this older guy started talking to me, super friendly, and super cool.. He bought me a drink and whatever... And then he started talking to her, and eventually he was just talking to her. So I did everything I was supposed to do. I kept quiet, just enjoying the drinks he kept buying us, and I would excuse myself to go to the bathroom multiple times to give him and her alone time.

She was responding to him. Way older than us, but it was going well. She was laughing, she let her hair down, she would touch his arm, and he would put his hand on top of hers and he would keep it there and she wouldn't pull away. But that's it. Nothing else happened. I suggested we invite him over to smoke out with us, and to have more drinks, but she didn't want to. We ended up going home by ourselves.

We have not talked about any of it since, although it feels like we are on the same page. While out, we give each other looks, with full eye contact, and I give ever signal I am good to go, I even smile... But I think she's not ready. Or she is reluctant. I don't know.

We have also not had sex going on almost 30 days now. It's kind of normal for us though.

So what are your opinions? Is it just taking its course and I am being impatient, or is there something else I am missing? Do I need to go to the bathroom more times, or for longer to give them more alone time to allow for a bond to happen? Maybe she is just not ready? Or is it maybe that the guys change their minds? I mean, she is not bad looking at all. She is not fit, but she is not overweight at all. She has decent sized breasts (they attract a lot of unwanted attention honestly) and she has a very pretty face, milky white skin, and a nice round butt. I don't get it.