She’s got a bull boyfriend who gets her insanely wet. As an example when they last meet she pulled up to the meeting spot, switched spots with him in her car and sucked his dick all the to his house while He drove. She then proceeded to get her face slaughtered with dick and her face was very messy from the videos ( because he really likes sloppy head) and biggest one of all he convinced her to suck his dick outside while he took a video. She got on her knees and gagged on his dick outside while her bull boyfriend recorded her. This same bull boyfriend has introduced a friend of his to her and on one occasion they all ended up in a car together. She called and asked my permission to suck dick and be pleasured by both of them. She ends up sucking off her bull boyfriend and his friend watched, sucked her toes, fingered her pussy and touched her boobs and such.

This bull boyfriend is very persistent and will message her anytime he feels. Midnight - 3 am usually knowing she has a man I know he does this purposely to show that she’s just a slut to him.

I like being cucked, we openly communicate and she’s honest with me.

When she plays with her bull boyfriends, especially this particular guy because of how wet and excited he gets her I do get jealous a bit more ( it excites me I know it’s apart of this)

However the cuck sadness or empitiness feeling sometimes sets in and has you questioning a lot. Mostly about yourself, and the shame and it makes you feel like the cucking is bad even though it excites you?

Sometimes it can take hours to shake the feeling off and I’m at a point where I know I want to be cucked but at the same time feels like internally I’m fighting it and it feels wrong to do it .

It can be very confusing, how do you navigate this feeling? What does it mean? How you can relate or help thank you