Growing up my parents always fought. My dad had a really short fuse. This drove my mom away and she would date other guys. Especially when my dad was angry my mom would take us to some other guys place. My dad knew this, but he still stayed with her and never moved on. They’re still married today, but my mom lives in a house that she bought with one of her boyfriends.

Anyway, growing up I essentially had a cuck for a father figure. That was the main model of what an adult relationship looked like. Now I’m reliving that because it’s the only thing I know.

Throughout college I still felt like a kid, so sex was fun and I was really confident and passionate about sex.

Now, I’m single (probably related to these issues), but I’m happy with my body, my looks, my size, my health, my friends, my career, like I literally have nothing to be insecure about except for my performance in bed and ability to connect with someone emotionally.

I’ve had the fantasies for about 3 years now. I’m open minded and generally consider myself sex-positive, but I honestly think cuckolding is not mentally healthy …for me personally.

I think cuckolding is a symptom, or a sign of my unresolved beliefs about what a father should look like. Knowing how much pain my dad went through terrified me into believing it will happen to me too. I believe this theory so much that I can’t even comprehend how I would be in a normal, healthy relationship.

What I really want is to feel confident in bed like I felt throughout college. I need to resolve the traumas that are keeping me from building an emotional connection with women.

Looking for advice that may help guide me to my goal of feeling confident in bed and believing in my ability to build an emotional connection with anyone.

What do you think?

Edit: I don’t have ANY fantasies about my mom. The cuckold fantasies all related to my relationships.