My gf and I have been talking about getting into the lifestyle for years and we’ve definitely gotten closer to going all the way. She’s met up with bulls and fooled around with them (they went down on her, but nothing more). She is open to going all the way but I have a mental hurdle that is still uncertain if I’m able to handle her having sex with someone else.

Last night, my gf met someone on the subway while going home and they swapped numbers. He was ready to meet up with her and go all the way, my gf was horny and down. It was me that said I wasn’t ready to go through with it despite having discussed this at length and talking about logistics of how it would work with my gf for the past 3 months. She was fine with not going through with it and was very supportive but now I just feel confused and ask myself what am I doing. It seems like I’ll never be satisfied if I just stay in this gray zone of talking to her about it but I also don’t feel like I’m ready to have her fuck someone else even though I fantasize about it daily?

How did you all know when you were ready to go all the way with this? Did you know you were ready or did you just take the plunge? What was your thought process in deciding you were ready?