Hi everyone,

For some context, I’m a 26-year-old male, and my girlfriend of 8 months is a 37-year-old female who was previously married for about 15 years. She’s shared stories about her ex and past relationships, which, interestingly, often turn me on. She’s also attracted to women, and we frequently (about once or twice a week) engage in dirty talk, which often escalates into sharing fantasies.

During these conversations, we both get physically involved— whether we are being intimate or whether she touches herself, and I pleasure myself while we talk. I’ve noticed that when I bring up scenarios involving her ex-boyfriends, such as imagining her being intimate with someone with a larger physique than mine, she becomes noticeably more aroused. Similarly, when I reference her ex-girlfriends, the effect is just as intense. She seems to particularly enjoy these scenarios when I take on a submissive or “cuckold” role. Other times, she reverses the dynamic and enjoys hearing about me being with someone else, such as a younger woman or one of my female friends.

For additional context, she enjoys both submissive and dominant roles and has shared that earlier in her life, she was especially into bondage with women. She has also mentioned instances where she would be intimate with other women while her ex-husband was outside the room with the door closed.

While we’re both clearly into these fantasies, we haven’t yet acted on them in real life. I’m curious about how to approach this in a way that respects boundaries and enhances our connection. She seems more comfortable with the idea of involving another woman rather than a man, but I’d appreciate any advice or tips on how to explore this dynamic further, —whether involving a male or female & from a practical or emotional perspective.