Each time, it’s had to be me to find the guy and set things up. It makes me think she’s not as into it, but when we’re playing with a 3rd, she thoroughly enjoys herself. We also have a great time dirty talking about it before, during, and after. She gets incredibly wet during this. I don’t fully feel like i’m forcing her to do it since we clearly both enjoy it… but she’s very reserved and shy about finding a guy and just being spontaneous and telling me she wants it. We’ve talked about how it’s a huge turn on for me to have her find a guy… text/flirt/sext… and her tell me when she wants it to happen… She’s picky, which is completely fine. But this makes it very difficult for me to find guys for her. It also makes it difficult to know when to bring it up to her and send pics of guys to get her opinion. It turns into a lot of time wasted for me engaging in conversations with guys she turns out not being interested in.

From an unbiased perspective, how can we improve the way we go about all this? Am i doing anything wrong? It’s been a struggle, which is unfortunate because every time we get together with another guy, it’s a very enjoyable experience.

1. Is this a common situation for anyone else?
2. Did your wife ever get more engaged to the idea of the search?
3. What works best for you as a couple?