Im an out and out sub and A few months ago I met a girl who is literally my dream. She is an incredible domme. We are building toward having a relationship and a D/s dynamic. She was vocal from the get go that if we do progress to this level she would never accept anything other than non monogamy which is something I’m absolutely ok with. At the start she was even having sex with fwb and stuff and it didn’t bother me in the slightest. But then she didn’t see anyone other than me for like a few months and in that time our relationship has started to blossom and we’ve gotten closer.

All of a sudden on Saturday she announced she was gonna spend time with her fwb in the morning. I guess it caught me off guard. It didn’t really help that I was having a tough week on a personal level which was bad timing and not her fault. I feel I had a severe episode of cuck angst, yes as I mentioned she’s been with other people since I’ve met her but the circumstances are different now as we’ve gotten much closer. Even though she’s been with other people I count this occasion as the first time I’ve truly be cucked in my life. And as I said the angst was pretty severe, I had the common symptoms of overthinking, knots in stomach etc. She stayed over at mine before she left in the morning, I woke up in the middle of the night hard as fuck at the thought of her going off I was so excited but then the next morning I went back to be scared and these flip flop of emotions were common through the day. I walked her to her car holding her hand and kissed her goodbye and she went off to have hot sex. This is one of the most positive memories I have from the experience, I find it hot and beautiful holding her hand along the way to see her off. She came back to me and the rest of the day we had was weird because I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t tell what. I’ve since discovered one of the reasons was that i literally hold no jealousy over her being shared and having sexual experiences but I started to feel deeply undesirable as a person, I felt scared about her potentially spending more time with him than me in future, I felt scared that she will do intimate things like staying overnight at his etc. these were the real problems.

I feel like we could have been better prepared for going into this which is a valuable learning experience but I also think the cuck angst was unavoidable regardless of what we done. Nevertheless I also feel this experience will be a valuable learning experience. I already feel more at ease for the thoughts of next time happening all tho we’ve both acknowledged we need to go over our boundaries and stuff asap. There were some very hard experiences but there were also some very sexy positive points from the weekend. I feel some little tweaks could make this hotter beyond belief.

So I have some questions anyways.

1. how do people recommend I deal with cuck angst?
2. Is there general advice someone can spot in my feelings you could gives?
3. Advice on how to make me feel involved in a good way
4. Advice on what we can do to reconnect (eg aftercare)
5. Cuck positivity! One thing I’ve said to her is that I want to make the word cuck a positive one! I want it to be a compliment due to being brave rather than humiliating. I want to ask cause there’s nothing online about it, what do people admire in a cuck? What are the compliments associated with the word.