I used to try to be that dominant, "alpha" guy, like many other men. Back then, I had fantasies that I considered the pinnacle of masculinity—threesomes with two women, casual sex. All of that seemed to me to be the essence of being a "real man." I was convinced that this was what I wanted. But I was never able to fulfill those fantasies, even though I was successful with women. I’m attractive, I take care of my body, and I have a good job—I’m a doctor. But women always saw me as a potential long-term partner, not someone for one-night adventures. It frustrated me that other guys seemed to have more fun, while putting in far less effort than I ever had to.

Over time, however, I began to understand that these fantasies weren’t really mine. In a way, I had imposed them on myself because society creates this image of what it means to be "cool." In reality, I’m not that kind of guy. I tried to dominate, but I never felt like it suited me. Instead, I have more submissive fetishes, which I was ashamed of for a long time and tried to suppress.

Over time, I’ve started to look at things differently. I still, to some extent, envy the Bulls, but I’ve also begun to find pleasure in their successes. Maybe I didn’t get to fulfill those "traditional" male fantasies, but I’m discovering that satisfaction also comes when I see others achieving them. In a way, fulfilling someone else’s fantasy has become a source of pleasure for me, something I never would have expected of myself.