Honestly not sure if I got the right tag?? Or even the right use of this page....

But let's start shall we....

Im in a relationship with my partner of 8 years now, it's a happy relationship with each other except its not sexual. And honestly, sex isn't something that's on her mind unless I bring it up or initiate. She's as shrewd as it gets, like it took 3 years to get her into pegging. I am a top pretty much all the time and am one of those that wants to bottom so bad. I've always tried to get her to be a femdom dominatrix for me or even do soft domming, but fuck me it just seems to be too much for her no matter what I do or I get what I want on a bi-annnual basis. She's the whole package ;pale skin, beatable ass, hanging DDs and is thicc (in the chubby sense). Me, I'm an average body, hairy, and my dick isn't small, at least I think so, it's 6 inches bone to tip and the girth is just under 5 (I think?). But my butt has been complimented jiggly😅.

I just love watching all this BBC cuckold porn. Seeing thick milfs getting all three holes filled, getting her pouchy belly and juggs groped nonstop, and watching the cum-cleaning of a good dutiful husband who will also be the bulls fucktoy. . All of that surprisingly turned me on. But I can't even imagine even suggesting to her what I want.

Like, she told me a guy from work asked her out (black dude) and she was loyal with no hesitation and embarrassed him for being a married man asking her out. But my thoughts was her being turned inside out and cream filled for me, by him. And making me clean it up and lube up his cock with my mouth and reverse vice versa etc. I'm sure y'all can understand😅.

I'm just stuck in a relationship where I get everything but sex, and in the slimmest of chances that I get what I want, I also feel it would put a rift in the relationship between us. Like I said, she's a shrewd woman.

Like, she's not into the idea of being bi or lesbian at all, it makes her retch and gag. She's always only thought about me, regarding men. Like, I will always try keep communication open and clear, talking about our feelings regarding our lack of sex life, but I'm always feeling there's no effort on her part. Like every promise and surprises are forgotten the moment the conversation is over. Like she felt helpless for herself to the point (Out of an what an emotional state) where she gave me the all-clear to have an affair. But that was something that was never discussed, out of blue and was a decision she made on the spot.

At this point, as of writing, I am aware that many may think the relationship is a sinking ship . But it's only the sexual part that's the issue, but it's more of an issue for me, rather than her, as I imagine she can live being non-sexual if she really wanted to. Like I found myself making it a bigger issue than it possibly is??

I don't really know what else to say, pending answering questions and partaking discussion.