I just made another post but this occured to me right after, I hope it's allowed.

One of the biggest factors holding me back from coming out as a cuck is that I think I'd feel embarrassed telling someone that I want them to fuck my gf. I drunkenly told my gf I want her to sleep with others, but took it back the next day and said I was just drunk. I'm probably going to tell her the truth eventually, it's not really her knowing that I'm worried about.

I don't really want the guys she fucks to know I'm into it. My biggest fantasy is letting my girl fuck my friends, coworkers, basically just anyone I'm fairly close with, but I don't really wanna admit to any of them that I'm a cuck.

I'm starting to get more and more into the idea of letting people who are close to me think that they've actually managed to seduce or convince my girl to cheat on me instead of telling them that it was my idea. Sleeping with another man's woman has got to be the most confidence boosting thing ever, like there's not really anything else that comes close to proving who the "alpha" is than fucking a dudes girlfriend lol.

What do you all think, is it a fucked up thing to do? I kinda wanna try this with my best friend, but it feels manipulative.