My (m30) wife (F30) has put the nail in the coffin of cuckolding or sharing all together. She was somewhat open to the fantasy and roleplayed some in the past but since having a kid she has completely shut that door telling me I am a bad husband for not wanting to protect her. And not a man for wanting her to be pleased by other men.

She says she doesn't want me to think about it, fantasize about it, talk about it or consider it ever again. This sucks for me. It has been a fantasy since I was 18 or 19 and I have never pushed it. I never felt open with past GFs enough to talk about it but I did with my wife and it has kinda came back to bite me.

I feel somewhat resentful and hurt, like I want to be able to be open but she instantly shut it down and used to Christian card. It's still something I think about and want but I know I would need to divorce her for that to happen. I've started just kinda not being in the mood for sex hardly ever and I want to talk about it but I know she will shut down every conversation unless it's me saying I was wrong and I'm sorry. It's not something I have ever pushed on her. I always took it form a angle of wanting to see her pleased. I cum quickly and really want to see her enjoy herself. It's gotten to where she will use a vibrator but dildos are in the trash because she thinks they will make me want the real thing.

How do I navigate this? I've heard stories of woman that come around wayyyy down the road. I'm not even thinking about that I just want understanding and accepance for a fantasy I have. Not asking it to become real. She wants me in therapy because she thinks it's a mental disease.