She has never cucked me though I have wanted her to do it for years. She knows and came close once or twice but after kids totally lost interested. I engage in a lot of fantasizing and cumming to fantasies around her taking a lover.

I’ve known for a long time that she had her best sex with an ex bf who is also married and lives 40 mins away. Recently I began cumming hard thinking of them bumping into each other and embarking on a passionate affair together.

I think a lot about what his cock looks like from how she has described it to me in the past and now she enjoys worshipping it and giving herself to him. I bet off hardest thinking of them borderline falling in love but not leaving their respective partners because of kids etc.

Also relevant: I’ve had worsening erectile dysfunction for the past 10 years.

What the hell is wrong with me..?