I’m looking for some advice / insight from couples that have successfully pulled this off, as well as hear from anyone that had it fail and blow up in their face.

About us, I’m 36 she’s 34, we’ve been married for about five years. Our sex life isn’t the greatest. We were trying to have a child, and she ended up having a miscarriage last year. Things never picked back up the way they were, we have sex about once every three months or so. The rest of our relationship is fine, we still hang out and do fun activities together and cuddle and kiss and hug and all of that kind of stuff, it’s just the sex life that’s taken a plunge.

Anyway, lately I’ve had the fantasy of watching her have sex with another man. The idea excites me, but on the other hand, I don’t know if actually being in the situation might make me have feelings of jealousy. I’d appreciate any insight about that topic from men who have experienced it first hand.

My biggest question here is, how do I bring this up to her? How do I put into words that I’ve had the fantasy and try to gauge her interest? Is there a chance of her being so disgusted and offended that she wants to file for divorce?

For some background information, she isn’t the most adventurous when it comes to sex. I’ve tried several times to do some risky stuff like on our balcony, in a car or in some public place, all with no interest on her part. Things are pretty vanilla, but is there a chance there may be some side of her that would actually be interesting in something like this?

Getting ahead of myself, for those who have successfully pulled this off, did you notice an improvement in your sex life? Was it weird after it was finished? How did the conversation go, or was it silent and awkward? Did you as the man have a hard time jumping back into sex with her without your mind wandering and thinking that she enjoyed that experience so much better than her experiences with you and suddenly feel inadequate?

I know there’s no universal answer to any of this, but getting some real world feedback would be much appreciated and may help guide me to the best decision. Thanks in advance.