As you can see from some of my previous posts, I’m in the world of dating as a cuck, and it’s had its ups and downs

For the last three months, I’ve been dating someone new (F26), and while 80% of it is excellent, there’s 20% that’s not, and a big part of that is my fetish

Although we’ve only been official for three months, we’ve been talking/ going on dates for almost 6, and I feel like the physical chemistry isn’t there.

I’ve brought up kinks a ton to try and feel her out without actually talking about cuckolding, and everything she says insinuates that this is something she wouldn’t be into.

I talked about my past relationships to see if her ears would perk up, but she had the opposite reaction I had hoped for. She thinks my past sexcapades into swinging and cuckolding are due to porn addiction and is me trying to chase serotonin high to numb some deep pain inside me.

All of this brings me to my ex because I can't stop thinking about her. We broke up 3 years ago today, and from the day we started talking, we had an instant insane sexual connection.

Within a month of us talking, we were talking about our kinks/ fetishes; within 2 months, we were dirty talking about it, and in less than 6 months, I had my first real cuckold experience where she fucked someone else and sent me videos.

We broke up due to distance. I'm in Chicago, and due to my work, I don't have the flexibility to move right now, she's on the other side of the world while she's applying to grad school, and that problem won’t be fixed anytime soon.

I don't know if im looking for advice or comfort or maybe just to fucking complain but I just can't stop thinking about her and she feels like the one that got away.