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Now that I e mentioned it and I bought a bigger dildo im Not sure where to go next that won't seem.like in pushing the issue. Any ideas ?
Listen, if women wanted bigger toys they'd buy them for themselves. Why not start with an open transparent conversation. And if she isn't into it, then drop it. That's the simplest way. Don't keep bringing it up again and again until she says yes.
If she says maybe, then talk about maybe. If she says yes, talk about what that would look like.
Most men are more obsessed with the size of their cocks than the women they are fucking. I've got a generous endowment - it doesn't make me better at sex - skills do.
Fast is relative. I don't know the content or context of your conversation, but I think that if she was enthusiastic you would have gotten the big toy the next day, not waited months. Did you ask her to pick it out or did you just order something that turned you on?
My point is this, too many cucks push their wives into this lifestyle. Not all women want to act on fantasy. You need to have an open honest transparent convo that is free from consequences.
Best thing you can do is be honest and communicate. If she doesn't want to or has reservations don't push any further.
Want to broach it properly? Then get a Therapist to help you sort this out. Before you even begin this journey you should know what you are getting into. Online forums are full of fake/failed cucks who want to live vicariously through you. Therapist that see ENM couples day in and day out know far more than the peanut gallery here on reddit.
Too many people don't even crack a book about ENM or Poly before diving in head first.
To be clear, i have a Therapistr that specializes in ENM. They've been invaluable in navigating this lifestyle. Kept me from making many mistakes. Highly recommend having one before you persue this.
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If you are interested in a kink/non-monogamy aware therapist here is a directory of people you can reach out to. Therapists can very much help you with these life choices. Also many licensed therapist register as "life coaches" as some states have issues with them discussing anything related to non-vanilla sexual activities. Look for all options for location.
https://www.kapprofessionals.org/business-directory-2/