Hey Everyone, kind of unique post compared to my usual stuff.

I have been into the Hotwife lifestyle for 10 years and absolutely love everything about it. I have been with my fiance for 2 years now and things are incredible. It is by far the best relationship I have ever had... and I mean BY FAR!!!!! We have been playing around with the lifestyle since we met because I told her that I was very into it on our first date!

Things have been great and if you look at my profile you will see that we have had some incredible experiences! She has taken the number 1 spot for best experiences of my life and you can tell that she really enjoys it when we are doing anything naughty.

The issue I have been realizing I have is that I want it far too much! I have always had a very high sex drive and that hasn't changed with being in a relationship. If anything, I have an even higher sex drive with the thought of her being naughty. She is the most amazing woman ever but her sex drive is not quite like mine. When she wants it she is wild and we have the most amazing sex life ever. But when she's not in the mood, I find myself getting overly discouraged fast. I don't understand it but I legit have a physical response to it. Not anger or anything like that at all, I completely understand it's not something she can control. And that is why it bothers me so much that I react like that when she is not in the mood.

Fortunately I have gotten pretty good at recognizing this and I can catch it before I say anything mean or stupid. I just reassure her of how much I love her, with or without the naughty fun, and try to support her needs, whatever they may be that day. But at the same time, internally my brain and body are suffering and often beating myself up. Ill get excited imagining some naughty fantasy of her fucking some guy on a first date but then will be reminded she is not in the mood that day and it totally bums me out.

I do scroll through reddit a lot but most of the time I get frustrated after a while because it's all not my fiance! but other than that I don't really watch any porn at all! I will watch her videos or listen to recordings of her with other guys and that does it for me every fucking time!

So I am kind of at a loss for what to do to get over the reaction I have when my beautiful future wife doesn't want to talk about naughty stuff! We have the most amazing communication ever so I am not worried about anything bad coming from this but it would be nice if I could find a way to beat it lol!

Any thoughts?