Curious of others' opinions. I'm certainly very much into hotwifing and cuckolding. My GF some years ago was open to taking videos, and only did it with one guy twice. Even after maybe 2 dozens encounters. It something she doesn't pursue doing.

There's a guy she's been seeing more frequently and she will go over for 4-5 hours or so and hang out. She tells me they will have sex multiple times and she will have over a dozen orgasms.

My gf is naturally a bit shy, reserved, and not super talkative all the time. I really would like her to help me satisfy my urges and play into my desires more, but she repeatedly tells me she's not interested in it.

She might tell me a little bit, but the night of she's too tired, too sore. The next day, we go back to normal and I don't hear anything about her night.

I've asked her to take photos and videos. She INSISTS she will NOT do that with this guy. This dynamic with this guy has turned into more of an emotional, somewhat poly dynamic (he is poly himself). She is loving the attention and affection she gives him. He's not just a 'FWB bull' she sees just to hook up with and leave. It's something more. They've had sleepovers a few times when I've been on out town. They have unprotected sex.

It's obvious that she REALLY enjoys her time with him and I would love to see, hear, and know more about it!

But she says this thing with him is entirely separate. She does not want me 'involved'. She will tell me stuff like "I always play into YOUR kinks. I want this for myself. This is what I want, this is what feels good to me, being able to enjoy the moment, and not thinking about what you want constantly. I don't want to feel like you're always controlling me."

But I'm hearing comparisons between me and him from her now. "The way he talks to me i'm learning I really want more of and I love it. The way he shows me affection I'm realizing is what I've been missing. They way he treats me... I want more of that". Stuff like that

I see both sides of our argument. But I am still puzzled about it. Am I wrong?

On way hand, yes, I totally want to (try) to allow my partner whatever she wants that makes her feel good. This is about her pleasure. True! I love that!

But on the other hand, she's not really paying attention or caring to what my needs are. She waives off my "cuck" kink as not very important or on the same level compared to other needs of hers (like affection and attention (from me or this other guy)).

It would be a different story if she was more into kinkier sex play, teasing, and all that other fun stuff. It's not like she's teasing me about it leading up to her seeing him. She's not encouraging me to partake in chastity. She's not giving me attention when she gets back home. She's not pegging me like a good sub that I like to be for her. I'm not saying I need all those things, but I want to engage with my partner in these kind of edgier ways and she's kind of rejecting it, or just giving me 'small amounts' of story telling in order to try to satisfy me.

I feel like I'm pushed to the side in a way and also have to push my kinkier 'cuck/hotwife' interests to the side because it annoys her to harp on it.

I feel like i'm giving her a lot of leeway with being able to explore a lot of this. I'm having a tough time to articulate these concerns to her because I DO REALLY ENJOY THE ANGST and the thrill of this stuff. But I feel like I don't get enough credit for being such an understanding and cool BF that I am risking my partner potentially falling in love with this other guy that gives her the best sex she's had in a long time, and they have an immediate emotional connection different from ours.

We've been having this on going debate about photos and videos for now for a few months. I keep bringing it up, not because I 100% need them or won't feel comfortable AT ALL, but because I'm afraid it's a red flag of something deeper.

I occasionally see other people as well, but not recently very much because I've leaned into the cuck thing more and 'taken myself off the market' to let her explore and play out the fantasies more. So now I feel like I'm not satisfied with her disinterest in the hotwife/cuck thing, so now I'm increasingly thinking of seeing others on my own solo and moving out of the cuck mindset.

Which inevitably leads to "I dont get anything out of you seeing anyone", to which I feel like if responding that if she isn't into the hotwife/cuck thing, then I am going to meet my needs solo. If you don't want me to, then I'd like to to help me satisfy my hotwife/cuck urges.

Anyways i'll leave it there

FYI if you're going to post some stupid ass comment like "herderp you should lose your gf to your bull like a true cuck" then don't even waste your time and go jerk off to some beta porn.