My gf and I have been ENM for a number of years. I'm very much into cuckolding and hotwifing but my GF is only interested in cuckolding on occasion. She's more of a sapiosexual and desires female worship/pleasure doms.

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But anyways, she has been seeing this guy through the year and he's poly. My GF before has always been very much against the idea of a poly dynamic with either of us. But lately, my GF has been really enjoying this FWB. They've hung out half a dozen times and they hang out for 4 or 5 hours. It sounds like they have really, amazing intense sex and they emotionally connect extremely well with each other.

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I totally believe we should allow each other to explore our fantasies in full and try to not be possessive... instead encourage a mindset of abundance. We are only here temporally and should enjoy this life to its fullest.

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It's worth mentioning that our sex life in the 1st half of our relationship was really frequent sex. Since covid and getting a dog, it's less so. Once a week or two vs 2-3 times a week before. I think there's a number of reasons for this (work from home, busier work, less active social life and less "partying", dog, other post covid stuff, etc). I also think I just have a higher desire for kinkier stuff that turns me on. We're trying to work on fixing this and emotionally connecting deeper to try to remedy this.

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I'm open to her going deeper with this other guy, but I am struggling a little bit with her leaning into this relationship with this other guy in a poly dynamic, rather than a kinky adventure. I'd be totally open to her having a dynamic like "I want you caged and begging for me when I come back". Or "my FWB is inviting his girl friend over and we're going to have a threesome... you love to hear that you can't have that right?"... hopefully you catch my drift.

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Instead, she's kind of just operating alone, exploring this guy on her own without really considering what I want. When I ask for photos/videos, she says she wants to live in the moment. She will say "I don't want to feel like I'm just your kink dispenser. I want to enjoy him because it's what I want, and I shouldn't need to compromise based on your fantasies that take away from what i really want".

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On one hand, I don't want to be the pushy partner like that. We all know it when we see it. But on the other hand, I *love* hearing about her adventures. I love seeing it, in person or on video. I love being teased about it. It drives me wild. I love seeing her totally lost in bliss in sexual pleasure.

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And I also think I am trying to be a patient partner. Perhaps our relationship isn't perfect. I don't think everyone has a 100% perfect relationship. I'm working on trying to improve things.

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I want to share these cuck/hotwife experiences with my partner. Whether it's together physically or I get to share it by having to listen to her stories as the partner back home who gets all the gossip. I feel like I'm a little on an island where she is wanting more of a separate boyfriend than a guy that is part of the dynamic.

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The last time she was hanging out with him, I was much more angsty than ever before. I'm not a jealous type so it was a bit surprising how angsty I was with different emotions. One of the thoughts I had what -- if she can't take a moment out of the 5 hours of hanging out with this other guy to consider the "hey, my boyfriend is back home probably suffering in the best way right now, let's record something for him to have to watch when I get back home", then why should I allow her to develop a deeper emotional connection with this other guy that might affect our relationship because it's not mostly about the sex anymore? --

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It's not that the videos are the only important thing. It's the whole ritual of laying with her, caressing her while she's totally spent. Begging to touch her. Begging to cum in her presence. Smelling him and hearing how cock drunk she is.

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I think this is one of the more possessive thoughts I've had before and I don't necessarily agree with it. However, I need to emotionally get along with another partner and I am totally for her doing so as well. But I'm struggling a bit with her growing love for this guy and a blasé interest in my cuckolding/hotwifing interests.

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What do you all think