Sorry for the text dump, but setting the right expectations is crucial:

We are a mid-to-later-30s white American couple living in Japan. We are both friendly, educated, approachable, and non-judgemental. Above all we want to laugh and have a good time.
We haven't engaged in this lifestyle in a while, but we're considering looking again into seeing what options are out there.

We are (tentatively) looking for a sane, confident, laid-back male. Someone who is funny and nice to talk to--this is much more important than a six pack or your dick size. A big part of what we're looking for is for someone to play with her while he watches. As the night went on her may join for MFM activities as well.

To be clear, we don't wanna bed the first stranger that messages us. We're looking for someone who can laugh with us, the kind of person we could see ourselves being friends with--though we admit that can be difficult until we meet, so please understand that nothing is ever guaranteed or promised even if we meet (though we're not looking to waste your or our time, so we won't plan to meet if there isn't a decent chance). One thing to keep in mind is that she is partially demisexual, so unless there's some kind of intellectual or emotional connection there, nothing is likely to happen no matter how hot or in shape you are.

We both like games, cooking, and singing (karaoke), but we enjoy being surprised and honestly most passions are exciting and interesting to learn about. Preferably be educated, her interests in particular are wide and varied (music to books to art to culture to pretty much whatever), so the more you have to say the better :) If we click, and everyone is comfortable and interested, then we can proceed from there.

The male half is bi, bottom leaning, but open to various degrees of interaction (none at all to oral (giving) to more than that if all parties are consenting). The female is also bi, but at the moment we are only considering men (and we are primarily looking for activities with her with interaction from him as comfortable).

Please don't expect Ken and Barbie (though the female half is actually very sexy). Similarly, we aren't demanding perfect looks (though of course that helps!). To paint in broad strokes because we understand this is important, she is a blonde/brunette, athletic build with cushion in the right places, very much conventionally pretty and never disappointing. He is way out of his league in this relationship heh, think a Boris Johnson type (but hopefully much easier to get along with).We mainly want someone that clicks on a friendship level, and making her laugh will get you much further than a gym membership!

If you have any questions or want to run anything by us feel free. For something like this clear expectations and communication is key. Be honest and upfront (and respectful!) And we'll do the same.

TLDR: Looking for a male to join with her and with him as well depending on comfort/interest. Be confident! Be sane! Be funny! Good looks help but good conversation is essential.