Hey everyone, I (21M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (23F) for a while now, and we’ve both had a lot of discussions about entering into an ethical non-monogamous (ENM) dynamic. We’re on the same page about wanting to explore this side of our relationship, but the thing is, so far it’s been mostly just talk. We’ve talked about boundaries, desires, and fantasies, but we haven’t really taken the next step yet.

Now that we’re living together, I feel like it’s the right time to start exploring it more actively, but I’m not sure how to go about doing that in a way that’s comfortable for both of us. To be clear, I’m not just looking to be a bystander or a “cuck” in the traditional sense (even though I know that’s a valid kink for some people). I’m more interested in the idea of seeing her enjoy herself with other guys, with me being part of that experience, either by watching or joining in depending on the situation.

Most of the time, I find myself turned on by the idea of her having fun with someone else, but I don’t want to make her feel like I’m pushing her into something she’s not fully ready for. I want this to be as enjoyable for her as it is for me, and I’m trying to figure out the best way to introduce this into our relationship in a natural, respectful way.

I guess what I’m asking is, how do I go from just talking about it to actually making it a reality? Has anyone else here been in a similar situation where it started with a lot of discussions but didn’t progress for a while? How did you bring it up again without making it awkward or putting pressure on your partner? And for those who enjoy seeing their partner with others, how do you balance your own feelings and desires with their comfort? Like do you guys also explore alone too?

Would love to hear any advice, tips, or experiences you guys might have. Thanks!