And after 11 years, I think my answer would be the latter. Crohns disease isn't fatal directly but when worse comes to worse I can't support myself.

I've been diagnosed since i was 10 (21 now, nearing 22). Living in America makes feeding this beast nigh impossible, insurance premiums and deductibles amount to half a minimum wage for me and I've yet to hold out a job, and my insurance kicks me to the curb in 4 years.

I remember In high school, someone overheard me talking to my teacher about my chemotherapy and they thought I had cancer. The whole school ended up thinking I had cancer, and got mad when I said I didnt, their own misunderstanding.

My immune system is a curse. It's like an entire separate person trapped in me. I don't get traditional sickness even when suppressed. You could hand me the bubonic plague and I could go off medication and fight that off in a week.

But in turn the suffering is worse. 3 times now after moving I've had to wait long times for treatment. Diet minimizes suffering, but it's so minimal in reduction I'd rather just eat the things I enioy. After 6 months I'll be in bed so sick I can't stay awake for more than 5 or so hours at a time, and even when suppressed I'm perpetually tired.

I see people like Hank Green and wonder how he does it. I know things varies on case by case basis, but you'd think I'd be able to handle it without the constant threat of leukemia over my head, I cant.

You'd think I'd be used to the pain. For the most part, I'm not. In fact I'm think more sensitive to pain than ever before.

Back to the original question. Yes, I'd rather live a short life than a long one. I don't view our earth as some bastion of passion and desire. I'm not suicidal, anymore, I was for about 3 years, but if I got leukemia I have to wonder if I'd accept treatment. I'd just be a financial burden on my family only to not even be partial to living afterwards.

I'm not really one for support groups, either, ive never known anyone who has had this same thing. My best friend has diabetes. But it's not the same.

Well anyways, hope yall are better off than I am.