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How my Goliath Barbarian failed successfully, saving the campaign.
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I was playing a Goliath Barbarian in a homebrew campaign where several kingdoms were at war and our goal was doing what we could to sabotage the other kingdoms' war effort. (capturing supplies, spying on troops, etc.) During one session, we needed to take out a detachment that was using a nearby cliff as a lookout spot for a crucial keep we had to occupy. With them out of the way, our allies could launch a surprise attack and give us a major advantage.

We sneak up on them and just manage to defeat the scouts. We thought we got all of them, but our ranger noticed a soldier slipped by us, got on a Pegasus and was getting the hell outta Dodge. (I know what you might be thinking and no, it was legit and we made an error at some point) We knew if he got away, he was going to warn the keep, signal for reinforcements and the campaign would take a hard left turn for us.

We said we wanted to try to take him out, and the DM said sure but we only had one round to do it. After that, he was gone, and come what may. We looked at our character sheets and see what we could do. Ranger? No arrows. Wizard? Outta spell slots. Cleric? Healing ain't gonna help. At that point, the ranger realizes there's a corpse with arrows near me, points at it, and calls out, "Barbarian, throw the archer."

Now, an average person would have figured out what she meant was, 'My valued brother-in-arms, throw the archer's body over to me. I will then use the arrows within their quiver and my sharpshooter feat to easily kill that offending soldier." Is that what my 8 Int, 7 Wis Barbarian concluded? Pffft, no. What did he think she meant, you ask? nat 1 insight

HIT THAT MOTHERF'R WITH THAT OTHER MOTHERF'R!!!!

The party is not happy in any sense of the word, though not at anyone in particular. Dice are gonna dice. Sometimes they bring glory unto you and sometimes they kick you square in the jibblets. The DM decides to take pity on us and tells me that, with a 24 Str, I could reasonably throw the corpse and hit the retreating soldier. However, it will be at disadvantage because he's just within my maximum throw range.

So, I make the first roll. Critical hit! We take a second to laugh/weep at the 20 that will go to waste. I take a deep breath, say a prayer to the dice gods, and roll...........ANOTHER CRITICAL HIT!!! We. lose. our. minds. completely. I roll up the damage and the DM rolls an animal handling check with a -5 to see if he could stay on the mount. He rolls an 8, soldier loses the check and plummets down to his death. We then send a messenger hawk to our allies to go ahead the attack and strut down the hill triumphantly.

tl;dr: my dumb, rage monster barbarian shows the party sniper how to really do range combat.

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3 years ago