Imagine it’s 2029 all the greats have retired. We’ve still got Head and Green but we are trying to rebuild after some tough times with some of our older players who were almost good enough for so long showing that once they made the team, they’re still only almost good enough. So head coach and selector Ricky Ponting has picked a bunch of younger players from various different backgrounds to come into the side. We’ve got blokes from Indian families, a kid from a Pakistani family, a kid from Mount Gravatt who grew up a houso and that geeky little spinner Todd Murphy is back! Ponting knows he needs to find a way to get this team to gel and in the old days golf and piss would have done the trick but half these kids don’t drink so he turns to weirdest cricketer he knows, Marnus and makes him captain!

For a week before the first ashes test in England Marnus takes the team to a bat factory where each player gets to build their own bat and a duke ball factory where they each build their own ball. That night he hosts a cricket trivia night where the winner gets one of his very special cheese toasties. They stay up late singing karaoke to their favourite rap songs and the team is prepared to smash the old enemy. Marnus has bonded the team because no one can feel out of place when the strangest bloke on your team is also the leader and if they have a problem Travis is still there as vice.

Thoughts?