Not Classified:

-Afghanistan

Try as I might I’ve seen neither hide nor hair of Afghanistan’s test jumper. I’m not sure they even have one. If anyone knows please enlighten me.

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-Bangladesh

Verdict: Believe it or not, the gentleman in this image is technically wearing a jumper. A glorified extra layer of shirt, it is an abomination. Do better Bangladesh, do better.

0/10

How to improve: It all started out so well. Everyone sometimes can do with going back to their roots. Stop it. Get some help. Get a cable-knit.

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-Zimbabwe

Verdict: Here we see Milton Shumba depart after charging down the pitch, being bowled for 7, and hastening an innings defeat for his team. That pretty much sums up the ‘jumper’ he’s wearing too.

In a way this effort is a microcosm of Zimbabwean test cricket. Seldom seen, not pretty to behold, and I just want it to get better.

0/10

How to improve:

Just like the nation itself, the history of Zimbabwean sweaters is turbulent. I have a soft spot for the aggressive black and red chonky bois of the late 90s. But for classic style, the double piping in deep green version is unbeatable. Especially since it stretches all the way back to Zimbabwe’s pre-test era.

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-Sri Lanka

Oh my dear Sri Lanka. How hast thou fallen so far. Once a nation of great quality in the bowling and clothing department. Now they find themselves like Bangladesh in a sorry state of affairs.

0/10

How to improve:

In 1988 Sri Lanka came to Lord’s looking like this. The central emblem. The simple double colour bars. The cream tone. Can’t be beat. Get on it SLC.

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-England

Verdict: England come off the back of a long period of dreadful entries, but their recent effort was nice. Then last summer a new kit supplier came and ruined everything. Not a proper cable knit, horrible bright white, and a weird blue accent around the neck and hem. Castore, I shall be sure to never give you my custom.

4/10

How to improve: Make it a proper cable-knit, and make it the right colour. It’s also always seemed a shame that England don’t add a little flair to their jumpers with piping. The Yellow, Red and Black of the MCC touring jumpers from back in the day could and definitely should make a return. Perhaps on the next Ashes tour we can borrow some of South Australia’s exquisite efforts?

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-West Indies

The West Indies’ current effort is rather strange. The piping in particular is narrow, and the shade of green within it is too light. Piping around the shoulders on the pullover version is also a frankly bizarre decision that does not look at all right. The full sweater version does look far better, though. The colour and cables are perfectly nice.

6/10

How to improve: Many West Indies fans would give anything to have the likes of Curtly Ambrose and Brian Lara back. The same extends to the sort of jumpers they used to wear.

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-New Zealand

There’s a lot to like about New Zealand’s sweater. It’s a proper cable knit, it has no big ugly sponsor logos, and nice piping.

However, there’s a certain panache a test cricket uniform should have this sweater is missing.

7/10

How to improve: Re-introducing a third black bar would make all the difference. Somewhere in those few centimetres of black fabric lies the joie de vivre that the current Kiwi effort lacks.

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-South Africa

Verdict: SA like many others fell victim to a period of utter horrors but their current effort is a quaint little number. Plus points must go to the pleasingly central Proteas emblem and lack of sponsorship, as well as nice cream colour and robust looking cables. However, the incredibly slight piping in bright shades inexorably make the wearer look like a freshly wrapped subway sandwich. Remove them and you’d get something close to this perfectly acceptable past effort. Still, overall I rather like it.

7/10

How to improve: Combine the elements of the current and other recent sweaters to get this. Simple.

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-India

India rocked up to the first ever WTC final wearing their first decent jumper for years, and happily seem to have kept it. It does a lot of things right, but it perhaps a tad messy what with all the sponsorship. However it’s aging nicely, yellowing to look really rather good.

8/10

How to improve: back in the day the navy piping was accompanied by sky blue and yellow too, and it made for one of the best looking sweaters there’s been. Add those to elevate the current design. Don’t recognise this young batsman, but he and his teammates look the business.

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-Australia

It pains me to say it as an Englishman, but Australia’s jumper game has been consistently brilliant. Good colour, nice wool and cables, a crest in the centre, and good piping. An excellent accompaniment to the classic and iconic baggy green. Top work sandpaper cunts.

9/10

How to improve: Perhaps the removal of the sponsorship logo, but it’s certainly not a big thing.

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-Pakistan

A top tier entry. Basically the same comments I have to say about Australia’s effort, except the overall finish of Pakistan’s comes away slightly nicer for reasons that I can’t quite put my finger on.

9/10

How to improve: Improvements have already been made in recent years – most hilariously after []( Wasim Akram railed against the inexplicable omission of Pakistan’s iconic green and yellow piping. Again, like Australia, less sponsors would be nice, but commercial realities must be considered.

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-Ireland

Verdict: Sublime. The off white colour is perfect. The cables are the right size (no nonsense chunky), and the simple deep green of the piping and cricket Ireland logo look elegant and convey the identity of the emerald isle perfectly. The new boys have turned up and handed it to the old guard emphatically. This is what it looks like when you appreciate the history and dignity of test cricket. Everyone else should take note. Pity we don’t get to see it in action more often.

10/10