So I was approved for a VentureX card. I'm outside the country, so I had it shipped to a mail forwarding service. It was returned to Capital One. (They don't know why!)

OK, that's fine, I'll have it shipped to me here. "Can you do expedited shipping?" I ask. (My Southwest Chase card expedites a new one to me every week no problem.) Rep. #1: "Well, the way customs works, it can take 10-15 business days..."

Uh, did I ask you to explain customs? No, I asked about expedited shipping. "Oh, no, no, we are no able to do that." Ook.

So I hang up and call back to see if what Rep. #2 might say. "Oh, we can, but we can only ship 1 card per day. Call back tomorrow to have a second one shipped!" Uh, OK, but maybe you could just cancel the one that you're shipping out? "Ohhh, no, we can't cancel it once the order has been placed!"

Now my curiosity has been piqued, so I call back for Rep. #3 and get the fraud department. (They're responsible for international shipments.) "Oh, all of our cards receive expedited shipping, don't worry!" Great, then I should get a tracking number right? "Well, sometimes FedEx forgets to send them out..."

I call back for unrelated reasons. (I want to take the temporary address off my account — from the first attempt to ship to the US — because I was told that new cards can only be sent to permanent addresses, thus it had to be a PERMANENT address on my account.)

Rep. #4: "Ohh, I see we sent a card to that address we're taking off your account, let me cancel your card number right away and send you a new one! In the meantime, let's see if we can get you set up with a digital card number!!!" (At this point, I just want to send it to a friend in the U.S., because I want the info for airline lounge access. I go along with it because I want the info and the digital number. But I do try to explain: "Well, um, actually, I had it shipped to a foreign country..." But she cuts me off: "No! We sent it to that old address we took off your account! Who knows where that came from..." Me: "Um, uh, yes, OK, all right.")

TLDR: Four different interactions with five different people who all made different things up based on... I'm not sure what? (It might've been 6 — I lost count and condensed to shorten this by 50%.) And I think I have a credit card shipping tomorrow to a foreign country that has a now-inactive number.

Wtf?