To start, I am a 25-year-old male, and I live in Covington, LA (a small town in an overwhelmingly conservative state). To give background, Covington is located in the epicenter of the Bible belt and is deeply religious and traditional. In terms of forward thinking, Covington is essentially the dark side of the moon.

That said, a few weeks ago, I had the most remarkable, eye-opening experience with a woman nearly twice my age (48). I met her in a local dive bar and we started talking and having a few drinks. Before too long, it was clear to me that she was interested from her body language and some light-hearted flirting. We started kissing and before too long, I had her pinned against the wall making out - we even knocked over a table - causing what I imagine was a very bizarre spectacle.

It was like a kind of profound passion came over me that I have never experienced before, and suddenly, I couldn't have given a shit how big of a scene we were causing. We ended up leaving the bar and going back to her hotel room since she was from out of town, and I'll just say it was quite memorable.

I don't have an ounce of hesitation saying this was by far the most attracted I have ever been to any person in my entire life. It was her experience, beauty, confidence, sophistication, and depth that transcended the likes of any other younger girl I've ever dated or hooked up with. Days pass, and I was hardly able to think about anything else. I was torn between pure euphoria and guilt-perhaps due to social conditioning and Biblical principles stemming from my small-town microcosm. From my upbringing, I can't help but think of this as degenerate behavior. More than anything, I have a fear of potential reputational damage from being seen by people I know.

I have told a few close friends and my brother, because I couldn't help but tell someone. However, I am reluctant to share this information with more than a select few, given my circumstances. Now I am faced with a dilemma. I want to explore this newfound passion but I have no idea how to proceed. I think of myself as attractive, talented, and desirable so I don't think I would have a problem attracting a cougar - I have a problem finding one. Considering the significant age-gap relationships are culturally taboo, the vast majority of women don't openly identify as cougars. The stigmatization of it has only added fuel to the fire. Interpersonal/external pressure of sexual norms seem to make non-traditional relationships infinitely more sexy.

I apologize for long-winded venting session, but I hope to gain some insight from other perspectives in this forum. Here are some topics I would love to hear more about:

Cougars, do you keep your relationships with cubs secretive?

Cubs, do you keep your relationships with cougars secretive?

Is this stigmatization as prevalent in other parts of the US or the globe? Or is it mostly a small/conservative town thing?