I’m new to reddit, OLD, OLR (relationships), OLI (interactions), so please excuse my noobness. I’ve been doing research into where I may find a fit and have been over in some other subs for HW, SVL, etc. and while I have been reading through posts here to try to figure things out, I found that asking questions directly worked the best as people were very helpful. So some questions I still need a bit of clarification on:

• Is there a “general” feel for the cougar-cub relationship? I don’t want to be rude or reduce it to a stereotype or lifestyle and I understand the basics that it’s an age gap relationship of 10 yrs with an older woman/younger man. Or is it more that there are some men who prefer/are attracted to older women and some women prefer/are attracted to younger men and this is a sub for those people? It’s just that, for me at least, when you get to be over 40, your dating age pool spans backwards a bit more and I guess it doesn’t span forward much at all, so in that way that makes me inherently a “cougar looking for a cub” and bottom line is I’m wondering if that is different than “cougars looking for cubs” on here?
• Is there a way to screen for fetishization or is this like many other situations where you have to feel it out? Nothing against fetishes at all —I just don’t want to be the “object” of one.
• Are there any “top” tips for expectations from either Cougar or Cub point of view I should know about. I am getting lots of tips here and there from the post but they are quite varied. Or maybe it is truly whatever works for you type situation? (I got that a lot from the other subs, but still got an over all “feel” for each of them, you know?)

Thanks so much in advance for helping a gal out.

*I hope in my ignorance I didn’t come off as offensive or disrespectful here.