This post is just a pessimistic vent.

I am 18m and recently I discovered that I find elders more romantically alluring than people of my age though despite my lack of experience to speak of, light wont shine through my pessimism about this..

To begin with, I am very aware of my lack of life experience and about the fact it's only now I finished high school. This mere fact paints my attraction to elders a mere fantasy, for since even if I find a compatible elder that deems me worthy of romantic intimacy, our mere situations in life make such a relationship a stretch, for the elder life is occupied by different things and the younger life same so.

The above criteria if they meet compatibility could only possibly allow for a poor relationship, one lacking of feelings and potentially short term. For such peoples can not settle, and settling would do them no good.

Besides the objective pessimism, I am also subjectively biased for I am not the most socially capable man, and do not see a future of myself with an elder woman for my discussions would be limited, and besides I can only imagine my family's approval had I accomplished such a relationship.

To add a cherry on top, I can't scratch off that memory of mine, last year my friend was randomly approached by a 13ish year old girl that asked him for social media, with him laughing it off (obviously), similarly I imagine an elder would feel had I approached, my interaction would turn out pathetic and cute at best.