This is a throwaway account because, quite frankly, people I know know my Reddit user and have made fun of me in the past for stuff, so yeah...

This is mainly just a vent because, up until now, I've never understood the need to vent and get something out there.

I (23M) just got stood up for the first time. I had made plans through Bumble to go out with D (37F), and this was the first person I'd been consistently in the same city with long enough to meet up.

I've been with people my age enough, but I've always found more connection, attraction, and admiration for women who aren't in the same age range as I am. I've matched with a few cougars (I'm so sorry if I'm not using the term right; this is the C&C subreddit) on Bumble, but this was the first that initiated contact after the first few messages.

I'm currently visiting LA, moving here in September, so I've been apartment hunting and such, which I made clear in my profile and have mentioned via conversation. I've matched with a few cougars already (which has been amazing) through Bumble and Facebook dating, and they have all been tremendously kind, and I've made a connection with most of them.

D, in particular, was unique, though. She was the most beautiful and, at first, seemingly intelligent person I've managed to connect with. Like, I've had yet to be THIS attracted to someone my entire life, both physically and mentally (I'm learning more and talking with friends a bit about how I have some parts of a sapiosexuality within me). We had a fantastic connection and texted throughout the day while she was at work. I was apartment hunting, and we had planned to meet tonight as I leave on Thursday morning.

Today, she needed to be more consistent with texting, but I confirmed twice about meeting up, and she said yes. She wanted to keep her phone number private to communicate (understandable), but she said we'd meet at 10.

I texted her at 8:45 asking for an address because I knew the specific area, but she didn't have an address, and she wanted me to pick her up from her house. She said she had the dinner planned and everything. I offered to plan because I love planning dates, but she said she wanted to.

At 9:20, I headed towards the area because I wanted to be prepared and early, too, so I could be on time when she sent the address. I bought flowers and a new shirt - I was not preparing to go on a date like this and was actually looking forward to it.

I drove around the city until 11, when I decided to go home, and I still had yet to get a single text from her. I'm assuming she fell asleep because she did work today, but I just texted goodnight when I pulled into the parking garage of my friend's apartment where I'm staying.

While in the elevator, one of his neighbors, who also happened to be a cougar who looked incredible, asked why I was out so late after I struck up a conversation about her puppy that she was holding because it was kind of awkward silence. I told her I was out and she asked more, like she seemed intrigued. I told her I got stood up, and she asked more questions about the girl. By this time, I was on my floor, so I got off, and she also got off the elevator.

I was on the second, and she was on the fourth floor, so I needed clarification, but I showed her the Bumble profile. She told me that there are plenty of more cougars in LA and not to be too sidetracked because shit like this happens. She asked why I wanted to come to LA and my story and such, and I told her everything, and she told me not to worry because it all happens for a reason. She even said that she's looking forward to hearing more about me someday, which I don't know if she genuinely meant or was trying to be a comforting person. Anyways, she got on the elevator and went up to her floor.

Part of me wishes I had said more because she was beautiful and sweet, but it was late, and I didn't want to seem desperate, like "I just got stood up. Wanna fill that void?" Anyways.

This is my first time getting stood up, so I'm taking it a lot more personally. I know I shouldn't, but I don't know. Part of me thinks I shouldn't have wasted all that time on the more excellent things just to be stood up, but the better part is telling myself, "What if the date did happen? You wouldn't have regretted it."

I knew it would be a date and getting to know each other. I also know it was heavily implied that something sexual might happen tonight, but I wasn't expecting it, and I made it very clear that I wasn't expecting it.

Writing things down helps a bit. Reflecting is excellent, and I'm also learning more about this. Thank you to anyone who's read this far! I appreciate it.

Feel free to make comments and such. If you have anything to say, I'll read it.