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My fiance and I are reading through Oathbringer, and this was my message to him this morning.
Good morning, and thank you for subscribing to HoidFacts Newsletterâ„¢!
Today's Folioâ„¢: It's colder than the Nightwatcher's tit in a copper bra. In fact, it's so cold that Axehounds are freezing to fire hydrants!
Brightlords and Ladies, we have just received word from Urithiru that it is so cold, even Kaladin Storm-blessed is sleeping with Jasnah Kholin to keep warm. Possible spoiler.
Several witnesses reported seeing Rock and Lopen from Bridge Four giving Cultivation herself the finger from atop a lifted Ford SuperMax-F9200 Diesel while muttering about "sum airsick lowlander globalwarmin' bullshit".
Further information may be delayed, as the spanreed operators have all left to a local den to get a fix of firemoss.
So go find your nearest Chasmfiend buddy to snuggle, it's gonna be a chilly one!
This has been your daily HoidFact Newsletter â„¢! To unsubscribe, go stand out in a Highstorm!
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