I already posted about it a couple of times in other subs.

basically, I‘m super inexperienced at my job and found out, that I‘m not yet ready for the responsibility I took over. this lead to conflicts with my team, I almost had a mental breakdown and I even decided to quit on monday. this didn‘t quite work, because they couldn‘t find a replacement and we were almost through the 4 weeks the job takes, so HR got me local support (we‘re in different places all over the country every day).

tomorrow is the last day. I can‘t believe it‘s almost over. the past 4 weeks were a really hard time, but we also had lots of fun and my team is great (with one exception, but I can avoid him most of the time). even though it was usually my fault when things went wrong because I simply lack the experience to do everything properly, they were super kind and patient.

I even had two great days after I decided to quit. the local support people on those days were great and tought me some really useful stuff. but I still wish I could have gone home earlier. my mental health is really bad. even if I try, I can‘t really be proud of myself for making it through, because I‘m plagued by insecurities and anxiety. all the confidence I had at the beginning and when I thought I was getting the hang of it is gone.

but I‘ve almost made it. I didn‘t think I could and I don‘t know how, but I did.